The Black Queen of The North (A Thranduil Story)

Chapter Sixteen: Handle with Care.

Katterina's POV

There are only a select few moments in my life that I have been utterly speechless. This moment was one of them. Many men had proposed to me and their proposals were usually met with my well rehearsed, 'heartfelt' decline which my father had taught me since I was old enough to attend his extravagant parties and politic balls, he believed that he was the only one capable of making the right choice for me as my mind was far to fragile to comprehend the idea. I, of course, despised the very concept. My mother use to tell me stories of how when I met the man that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with I would know. My soul would know the very moment I laid eyes on him. For a long time I did not share her belief, love to me was merely a concept that men presented woman with so they would not want power. It was yet another way a man, quite similar to my father, could ensure my obedience. So I courted many men, against my father's will, and once I was positive they had fallen in love with me I promptly told them that I no longer wanted to continue seeing them. I felt that if I could prevent myself from falling in love then I would never have to marry a man who would treat me as though I am an ornament incapable of forming an opinion or  of understanding even the simplest concepts.

I was capable of all these things until I met Thranduil. Now I fear for my sanity because I believe I have fallen in love with a man and I do not quite understand how it came to be.
I couldn't accept the proposal. It is far too soon. Far too inappropriate.

Thranduil's POV

She simply stares at me. I can see she is shocked, there is not a feature on her face that disagrees. I can see her weighing her options mentally, attempting to form the correct (political) response, trying her very hardest to comprehend the future that a life with me will hold. She opens her mouth to speak and then suddenly closes it again. "Oh for the love of everything that is good in this world Katterina answer me!" My patients is at its end and my temper, accompanied by the anxiety, once again gets the better of me. Still nothing.
"One word Katterina, yes or no? For one moment can you please act like a being that is capable of emotion! I allow myself to be vulnerable when I am with you, why will you not do the same with me?" The words tumble from my lips and I can almost taste the harsh bitterness that the leave behind. "I am capable of emotion ..." These five words are the first to leave her mouth in what seems like an eternity. "You would not want me when I am weak. You would not what me when my eyes are washed out and raw from the assault of tears, my vulnerable being is not beautiful nor is it poetic. It is hollow and daunting, you would not want me if you were to see what I truly am." Her voice shakes as she speaks, not with anger but with the burden of honesty weighing heavily on her words. "I would want you even if that were to be the shadow of the woman who is standing before me." I say softly to her.
"I have fallen hopelessly in love with you. I crave your presence, more than I have ever desired anything in my life. I do not want to be with you, it is necessary for me to be with you, for the sake of my sanity and I do not understand quite how this concept works. It is frightening and it is overwhelming but I understand know what I desire and that is for you to stay here with me..." I suck in a breath after my bold statement. "I am not a jewel Thranduil, I am not there to satisfy some desire that will otherwise drive you mad." I can feel her accusing gaze burning my exposed skin. "That is not what I am trying to say Katterina. I am trying to tell you that I care for you, very much, and that I want to be with you and protect you from those who wish to harm you. I do not what you to go back to your father if he is going to force you to do something you do not wish to do. Can you not see that I care for you? That I want only the best for you ?" I can feel the hint of rage building up inside of me, does she not understand that I want to help her? Why can she not see reason?
"This is too soon Thranduil ... I ... I need time I cannot give you an answer. There are so many things to consider , what will your council say? There can be no wedding if both my council and yours do not consent to the marriage. My father will be furious and that may place much tension on the trade between my realm and yours. There are so many things to consider..."
She trails off deep in thought. "Forget those things for now, think only of us Katterina. Think of the happiness that this could bring into our lives." Even though I am annoyed by her actions I cannot help but smile at the thought of a future with her. "I cannot have children..." It is nothing more than a whisper but I manage to make it out. I try to meet her eyes but she has turned away, I can make out a singular tear as it slips from her closed eye down her cheek. I reach out to touch her arm and she turns to face me. Her eyes are a stormy blue, for the first time I can see the depth of her pain. She looks so fragile that I fear by touching her she will shatter. "I am sorry my love, this must be very difficult for you. I know that there is nothing that I can say that will console you but I know that Legolas adores you beyond measure and it is any consolation I believe that you will make a wonderful mother to him." For a moment even I reconsider my words. I do not want her to feel pressured. Something changes, the atmosphere within the forest grows cold. Katterina stiffens, her eyes dart from side to side as the ghost of a memory plays over them. They grow cold and harsh. Iron grey bleeding into them and washing away the frail ocean of blue that had inhabited them only moments ago. "Something is wrong." She states quietly. "I must to find Verowne, I must go now." She stammers out. A look of sheer panic crosses over her features.

"Forgive me Thranduil, but I must go."

I watch silently as the woman I had hoped to make my wife gallops down the dimly lit path back towards the palace ... without me.

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Hello

I know that this chapter is awfully short and I am terribly sorry about that but I am sure you will all understand why when I put up the next chapter! I hope you're all enjoying this and I am going to try my best to make sure that I don't take so long to publish the next update. I currently have a little more time on my hands so hopefully I get some writing done! I just want to thank everyone who has been supporting this story, I truly appreciate all your lovely comments, all the votes and every last person who reads this story. You're all amazing!

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