Daughter of a Winchester

29

"Babe, I know you're upset and pissed. I'm sorry." He said sincerely. She stayed quiet. "Please just talk to me." Still she gave no response. "Baby, please. Don't shove me away. I screwed up and I know it, but you mean so much to me. Please just tell me what you're thinking. Yell at me, hurt me, do whatever, but don't shove me away." He begged.

"Hey, I'm not mad. I'm upset that you think that about yourself. What makes you think you're worse than shifters? None of us have ever compared you to the things you hunt. EVER. Don't act like we do. You're acting like I honestly think you're a bad person." She asked tearfully.

"I know you don't. I think that because just, even from the beginning I hurt you even if it was unintentional. We almost split because of Jess, you've almost gotten killed because I didn't look out for you, I got super mad with the mess with my dad, we had all the stuff of me making you feel like a bad wife, you were so upset about things and I wasn't there for you enough for anything, just there's been so much that I have screwed up for you. It wasn't intentional, but still."

"I get why you feel that way, but you've never hurt me nearly bad enough to be compared to evil things like that. About the other stuff, I was never gonna believe that it was you. You hurt me and that's when I knew it wasn't you. We weren't gonna let it kill anyone. You didn't screw up at all....And why did you think we wouldn't know you were gone? Do you really think we wouldn't miss you?" Sam stayed quiet. "Really? You honestly think I wouldn't miss you and be miserable every day I was without you? You really think I don't love you to the point where I'd rather die than be without you?" She asked, wondering why Sam would beat himself up over this.

"I do think you love me that much, just I thought about it and if you hadn't known it was a shifter, you would have never known I was gone. I'm sorry baby. Ok? I'm really sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" She asked gently. He didn't need to apologize to her

"Because I never should have believed it for even a second and I don't want you to think that means I don't love you or trust that you mean everything you tell me. You mean the world to me, Avery and I don't want to do anything to make you believe otherwise." He explained.

"Sam, honey. You're making way too big of a deal of this. I'm not mad. I know you trust me and I know you love me. I never once doubted that. You mean the world to me too and nothing is going to make me think that I don't mean a lot to you too. Just relax. No one is dead, you and I are fine, you're back with us, and things are going ok. I love you. Don't forget that." She urged. She really did love him to death and didn't want him taking the whole situation to heart.

"I know you love me. I just wanted to be sure you knew I love and trust you despite what I was thinking."

"I know that. Everyone overthinks things when bad stuff happens. I get it. We're ok." He nodded sadly. "Do you believe me?" She asked. She didn't expect a yes.

"Yes, baby." He stated as he pulled her close. "Thanks for understanding. Just always remember I love you."

"I'll never forget that." She replied. "One more question." He nodded expectantly. "How could you tell me to hurt you but not shove you away as if hurting you was an option?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"You told me to not shove you away but I could go ahead and yell at you or hurt you as long as I didn't shove you away. Do you really think that about me?" She asked.

"Think what about you? You're being so vague." He responded.

"That I could ever hurt you. You honestly think that I could lay a hand on you with the intent to hurt you? I love you. I always have and always will. There is no chance that I will hurt you. Accidents are one thing, but don't you dare think that there's a shred of a chance that I will do anything intentionally. I can't believe you think that." She explained in frustration.

"I didn't mean it. I wanted you to talk to me and not shove me away. It wasn't a lie though. You could have done anything to me. Anything is better than being pushed away by you. I didn't mean it and didn't think you would, ok? I'm sorry. I've been wording things poorly and making you upset. I think I'm just so messed up about what this life does to us." He replied gently. A tear glistened in the corner of his eye.

"It's ok. I'm not mad. You haven't been making me upset. It's really and truly ok. The life does some messed up things to our heads that's for sure." He nodded sadly. "Hey. Don't feel bad about anything. I'm proud of you for being so strong in what's happened and for always fighting for the greater good. You're here for me for so much and I can't even explain how much I love you."

They were quiet just laying together in bed as he stroked the hair out of her face. They laid there for over an hour just appreciating each other in the comfortable silence. All of a sudden, he let out a slight chuckle. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing. Just thinking and I started remembering things from when we dated." He stated.

"Like what?" She asked, wondering what could be so funny.

"Like that time we went out for ice cream and you and I were joking around. You laughed so hard you dropped your ice cream and it got in your hair but you kept laughing. It's not funny it got in your hair, but you just kept laughing. You were adorable and still are. And the time when we met up at the restaurant in the beginning before we were even dating and we introduced ourselves super stereotypically. The thing I was mostly laughing for is how happy I felt and still feel when I'm with you. You bring me so much joy. I remember promising myself I would always prove to you how much you mean to us. Every second I'm with you, I swear I'm falling head over heels again. You make me so beyond happy. I've hated seeing you so upset this past year and seeing you happy the past few months makes me so happy. I love you so much. I'd die to keep you happy. He stated so poetically and gently that she felt herself falling all over again. She kissed him passionately on the lips and ran her hand through his hair.

"Those were such great times. I feel the same way. I fall deeper in love with you all the time. I feel like every second I'm falling all over again just like you do. I almost can't believe I finally found the guy of my dreams over 11 years ago. I love you too Sammy. So so much." She replied. He laid with her and continued to play with her hair.