Listen to Your Heart

Chapter 10

We enter the playhouse and Darren says, "So who wants to go first?"

Everyone looks around at each other but no one says anything. After a few moments of awkward silence I say, "I will."

"Okay, um, great. What song do you want to sing?" Darren asks.

I whisper my audition song in his ear, and he says, "Okay I guess you can go stand on the stage and everyone else can sit in the first two rows."

I walk up to the stage and try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, and then I begin to sing.

"On my own, pretending he's beside me.

All alone, I walk with him till morning.

Without him, I feel his arms around me,

and when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me."

I look at Joey and smile.

"In the rain, the pavement shines like silver.

All the lights are misty in the river.

In the darkness the trees are full of starlight,

and all I see is him and me forever and forever."

He smiles back at me and I see Denise giving me two thumbs up.

"And I know, it's only in my mind.

That I'm talking to myself and not to him.

And although he is blind, still I say there's a way for us."

I am no longer nervous.

"I love him, but when the night is over,

he is gone, the river's just a river.

Without him, the world around me changes,

the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.

I love him, but every day I'm learning,

all my life, I've only been pretending."

Joey smiles brightly at me. Haha he thinks I'm singing about him, as if.

"Without me, his world will go on turning,

a world that's full of happiness that I have never known.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him, but only on my own."

I finish and everyone starts clapping for me. I smile and Darren says, "thanks, Lauren. Denise can you go next?"

She says, "Sure" and goes to talk to Darren about her song.

I walk off stage and go to sit next to Walker, when Joey waves me down and says, "Lauren! Sit here!"

Ugh, I don't want to but I know I have to for this revenge plan to work. I fake a smile and sit down next to him. "You were really good," Joey says.

"Thanks. Do you know what you're singing yet?"

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna sing All the Small Things by Blink-182. They're my favorite band."

"Cool," I say and stare up at the old color war plaques that adorn the tilted ceiling.

"Or do you think I should sing a musical theatery song, like you did?"

"I mean we are trying out for a musical so yeah maybe it would be a good idea."

"Damn someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

"Sorry, I'm just really tired," I lie. I'm not that tired. I just hate him. I continue, "I'll help you pick a song. What's your favorite musical?"

"I really like Aladdin, but I'm not sure if there's anything I could sing in that."

"You should sing Proud of Your Boy, it's such a great song and you'll do really well with it."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks Lauren."

"No problem," I say as Denise climbs on to the stage and starts to sing.