Finding Yourself || on hold

Special- Blake's POV

I've decided to do this in Blake's POV again. Enjoy. :)

Special- Blake's POV

Thought #19

Nostalgia doesn't come at me like a wave. It hits me like a five story high tsunami- it knocks down all the walls that Ive built up with a surge of astronomical power which I will never obtain. The tsunami of nostalgia hits me every time I see Olivia's clueless face and how she's like fresh meat for Hollywood to chew up and spit out. I miss being like that. A lot.

My eyes scanned my microscopic, uncannily girl-like handwriting. You'd think that a guy as seemingly 'masculine' as me wouldn't have handwriting that resembled a girl's. But, like all of the other overbearing surprises in the universe, my neat cursive was unexpected.

Tap, tap, tap.

I thumped my pencil against my desk, trying to determine what exactly drove me to write the thought like that. Usually, I'm not the poetic-metaphor-and-simile dude, but the no-bullshit-and-straight-to-the-point dude. Hell, I wasn't entirely sure what nostalgia meant, but I'd read it in a book somewhere and deemed it the appropriate word.

I caught one word on the lined paper. 'Olivia's' had some invisible glow to it, out-shining all the other words in that jumbled paragraph. I guess whenever writing about Olivia (which only happened once or twice), I wanted to be the poetic-metaphor-and-simile dude because being to the point wasn't good enough. At least, not for someone like Olivia.

I had decided to write these thoughts down because my song was going no where, but I'd taken a liking towards writing. So I just wrote the first thing that came to mind and labeled them as individual 'thoughts.' I felt like a chick doing that sort of stuff, but whatever.

I stared at the wall for a few seconds before becoming bored, so I closed my leather journal. Leaving my un-sharpened pencil next to it, I got up and walked over to the screen doors which led to my balcony. I saw Zach and Nicole spraying each other with water without any waver in their energy. Shaking my head, the small smile on my face evaporated as I thought about how Zach was more of a brother to Nicole than I was.

Shows how much of a sucky person I am.

I grabbed a clean tee shirt from a drawer and pulled the grey fabric over my head and chest. All the while, I was trying to get that damn sentence to stop echoing in my head, but I couldn't. And it truly sucked to have a self-demeaning thought repeat like a broken record.

Flattening my wet hair with my palm, I walked into the hallway. I heard voices coming from the last room in the hallway: Olivia's. Her voice was audible, as well as a deeper dude-like one. That was the point when curiosity got the best of me, so I approached her room. I just hoped it wouldn't kill me like the cat.

The voices were still a little muffled when I got to the door, so I pressed my ear to it in hopes that I could hear what Olivia and Mystery Dude were talking about. And I did.

"-was finally able to view the video diary that you were in with Blake. That guy is head over heels for you," the dude spoke with an air of finality in his tone. That caused me to stiffen slightly. Did people really think that?

"And the guy I'm talking to right now is completely delusional," I could feel Olivia rolling her eyes even from behind the door, and that made me smile involuntarily. She was really assertive and not afraid to speak her opinions, which made me admire her.

"Says Miss. Delusional. I can't believe you didn't notice yet," Mystery Dude retorted. His words seemed poisonous, as if he didn't like the idea of Olivia and me being together.