Motors

6

Cara's POV:

We slowly walked our way into the desolate cemetery. As we walked in the still, defining silence I dug up the memory of the location of her grave.

I carefully approached the weeping angel, that's wings stopped me from falling off during my first overdose, which was on Valentine's Day, four years ago. So in other words, my fourteenth birthday and the first anniversary of her death.

I knelt down and dusted the writing off, clearing my throat before reciting the script, that I'd forever stamped to my mind all those years ago.

"Tara Elizabeth Erikson. Born 14th of February 1998. Died of Hodgkins Lymphoma 14th of February 2011. Losing a twin, is like loosing your soul. Losing a big part of your heart, that will remain gaping until the day you die yourself." I sighed. "May her soul rest in unending peace, leaving me in complete chaos and heartache for the rest of my life... Thanks sis." I scoffed.

"Cara... I-I don't know what to say..." Asher breathed.

"How about sorry? It's what everyone else said. You never know, it might fucking work for once and I won't pop pills and drown myself in alcohol tonight, like I plan to."

"No. I'm not going to say 'sorry', because sorry is just a five letter word, beginning with an 's' and ending with a 'y'. It's ridiculously overused and has little to no meaning left to it. Just like any word on this planet. That's why I'm going to say exactly what I have every other time I've seen grief: drowning yourself in a pitiful sorrow and alcohol, will never do anything to soothe the pain you feel deep inside. Nothing I can say will bring Tara back, nor will it make you feel better." He began. "But always know, that no matter, how long you have been without your sister. Whether that be your whole life. A week. A month. Or five years. She has never left. I like to believe that there is life after death. That those that we've lost are still with us, until we let them go. I've let go of everything. My pain. My sorrow. Every time I look at you, I can see an ever lasting pain in your eyes, that will most likely never fade. But no matter how awful it is to know why that pain is there. I will always be there to help take it away. No matter how much you don't want me to."

I looked directly into the pitiless grass green eyes that bore into mine, as if they were scanning my very brain to discover the information they needed. At that moment, I don't know why I didn't just show him the photos. Tell him about the only other person that could ever make me smile the way I do when I'm around him. Make him see, the full picture, the real story.

"Do.. Do you wanna say something to her?" I asked. Letting my deep frown, waver slightly, back to my usual grimace.

He simply nodded and sat next to me, in front of the stone.

"Hello Tara. I'm Asher Michaels. It's lovely to meet you, I just wish it was under much better circumstances. I wish you could see everything that goes on in your sister's life. All the times she's broken down and destroyed herself to ease the pain. I'm sure you would take her by the hand and tell her it would all get better, even if she knows it's not true. She misses you. I can tell. Hell I don't even know you and I miss you. I miss you on her behalf, because she can't bare to miss you more than she already does. I'm going to make a promise right here, right now, to to everything in my power, to make your gorgeous, smart, amazing twin feel the best she possibly can, all the time. I owe it to myself, I owe it to her, and I owe it to you."

I was taken aback by what he had just said. He basically made a promise to a physically dead girl, to keep a mentally dead one happy. What more could I ask?

This guy that I'd met, and practically told all of my secrets to, is pouring his heart out to my dead twin. I'm a lot more happy than I should be. I'm not alone anymore.

"Asher... You ready to go?" I asked quietly.

He planted a small kiss on the top of the stone angel's head, then turned around to face me.

"Yeah. Are you?"

"Yeah." I sighed, pushing myself up off the ground as he did as well.

I stepped towards the headstone and put my hand on the angel's head. "You have my love. From womb till the day I die." I sighed.

The comfortable silence was back. I removed my hand from the stone and walked back over to Asher, who slung his arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the dark, shadowed gated from which we entered.

To love eternity,
Not to fear,
For my fragile heart will long to hear,
The broken words of broken men,
Torn apart and built up again.
~Jo Evans.