With you in my Arms

27. There were a lot of different reasons

There were a lot of different reasons why people got married. There were probably as many reasons why this life changing decision was being made as there were people making it. Draco Malfoy had found the concept of marriage always inevitable. It had been part of his upbringing that he had been told there would be the day when he would have to decide on one woman to create the next generation of Malfoys with. There had never been the expectation involved, that he would love his future wife. They would have sex, children and separate lives.

That was before she had happened. Hermione Granger. He had one morning woken up to the fact, that he could no longer lie to himself about his feelings for her. He had slowly but surely fallen for her. She had found a way through his hard exterior without talking to him, without looking at him, without taken notice of his existence. She had dissolved the ice mantle around his heart and warmed his core with her kindness and her love for life itself.

He hadn't dared to make his feelings known to her. Potter and Weasley had been around her as much as they ever had. Even so the Vanquisher of Voldemort had spent more time with his own girl, he had been there for her no matter what. And Weasley? He had to quiet his desire to punch the bastard more than once, when he hurt her unknowingly, when he put himself before her, when he didn't realise how lucky he was that she wanted him to be in her life.

Draco sighed. She was here with him now. He was the lucky one holding her in his arms. She was the mother to his child. And, if he played his cards right, he might even be able to have her as his wife. He knew that she wouldn't be easily wooed, but he loved the challenge that winning her presented. He had done the first step and had then been overtaken by events. The plan had been to try and see her after school, away from prying eyes and nosy gossips. He had intended to date her in secret not wanting her to be exposed to the ridicule he knew would follow, if anybody found out she had gotten involved with him, him of all people when she could have the dull, boring and extremely dense Ronald Weasley.

He had never thought he would get more than a kiss and a hug. He hadn't dared to hope for anything other than her actually talking to him and not killing him outright for having the nerve to want and sample her sweet lips. He had gotten the girl and a son. All in one warm June night.

"Hermione?"

He looked down into her dark eyes. They seemed to be bottomless. A single tear was slowly making its way over her cheek. His heart sunk and was close to breaking. What had he done or said to get her to shed this tear? He wanted to pull her back against his chest, not wanting to have to face his worst fears just yet. She resisted. He felt the urge to ignore it, but then sighed and just held her. Glad she was still in his arms. Hermione kept looking straight at him. Her gaze finding his heart and his soul with ease.

"It's all too fast for you, isn't it?" He asked softly. "I want too much. More than you can give me."

She kept looking at him without answering. She felt utter turmoil raging through her soul. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to do all those things couples did. She wanted to... There was too much she wanted to do with him. She knew, that she loved him, but he was so far ahead of her that she felt she needed to to actually catch up to him. He had a year to get his head round his feelings for her and what he wanted her to be in his life. She had only found out about two and a half months ago that he had any interest in her at all. She had found herself swept of her feet by something, she would have never ever thought possible, a Draco Malfoy that was caring for her. Loving her.

"I..." She looked helpless.

He gently kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry. We'll take this slowly. You say what goes and what doesn't."

"I'm so sorry." She had buried her head against his chest now and her shoulders were trembling.

"Ssh! Hermione, don't worry. I'm glad you are here with me at all. It means a lot to me."

She pulled her head back. Her face tear stained. There was worry and sadness displaying on his face, but she knew that he would not give up on her. He had come so far he wouldn't quit now. He wasn't the quitting type. Her fingers gently touched his face. She could see the effect this had, his features softened, his tight mouth relaxed, nearly smiling. His eyes were fields of storm clouds.

She reached up to tangle her fingers into his hair before slowly pulling him down towards her claiming his lips without hesitation. He only to willingly complied.

Moments later she suddenly struggled free and fled the room. Draco looked after her. What...? Then he heard her in the bathroom. He sighed. Fantastic timing!

He slowly walked to the loo she had run to and knocked on the door.

"You okay?"

There was no answer for a long while. He heard her being sick several times, before there was the sound of flushing water, the taps being opened and closed and then a rather pale Hermione appeared. Without saying anything he scooped her into his arms and carried her upstairs.

Laying her carefully onto the bed, he felt her holding onto him when he wanted to pull away.

"Stay. Please."

He smiled.

"I am not going anywhere. Not without you."

He eased her shoes of her feet, took his own boots of and then joined her. She snuggled against him. He held out his arm so that she could use it as pillow, allowing them to hold each other.

"Coming here was probably a bit much for you." His lips caressed her hair.

"Probably."

They didn't talk for a time while contently feeling the other one close.

"Tell me about yourself, Draco."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything there is to know about you."

He grinned.

"I had intended to leave this bed again at one point..."

She looked at his face, saw his eyes sparkling. Was he trying to tell her that there was too much about him to know? That it would take a long while for him to tell her all there was to know about him? His grinned said as much.

She bit her lip for a moment wondering, if she should really ask all the questions that were burning in her mind. All the questions she wanted to ask, but was just about too scared to actually voice.

"Can I ask you about the things that I want to know, need to know, but you will be unwilling to talk about?"

His face became guarded for a moment. There were too many things he didn't want her to know about him. He had been too horrible a person for too long as that he could give any excuse or real reason to plead his case. Though, if he actually wanted to have an honest relationship with her, one where he knew that she trusted him unconditionally he would have to bare his soul. With all its stains and marks.

"I know, that you need to know everything about me. It's just that I have never allowed anybody that close to me before."

Gentle fingers were caressing his cheek.

"I know that it's not easy for you. I just... need to know."

He kissed her hair.

"Ask me."

She didn't jump right in as he had expected. The sudden opportunity to get into his head seemed to have been a spontaneous decision not something she had planned.

"Did you want to become a Death Eater?"

He closed his eyes and his stomach knotted.

'You can do this! You have to do this!'