PLUMA (Inspirations from Writers Across the Globe)

Workshop 1

Hello to all the writers who are reading this especially the newbies. 

Pluma is launched because I know that we can all learn from each other and that we can improve our writing skills every day. 

Here's the first exercise for you guys. 

Evaluate the story below based on:

1. Content

2. Emotion

3. Grammar 

Comment down what title is best suited for this and also how do you think will you improve this story? Alright? So happy evaluating. 

And now with the story

********

'And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves.'

The song 'Ocean' kept playing in my mind even if we were all done doing our reflection. I should be sleeping by now to wake up early tomorrow and enjoy the activities lined up for our retreat, but I couldn't.

I'll be graduating soon. My classmates are all celebrating but I'm alone crying in silence.

How will I keep my eyes on Him when I know that my dad will pack his bags and leave us? And my mom won't even bother stopping him because she is excited to be free from dad?

I'm helpless knowing that any time soon what used to be a perfect love story will have to close its curtain with the lead roles living separate lives.

I cried in silence as I recalled that afternoon of December. I was planning on surprising my dad and dropped off his office to show him my 'winning painting' when I heard soft moans and whispers inside his private room. I wish I was dense enough to not understand what was happening inside his office but unfortunately, I am not.

I checked on my dad's secretary. Her area was empty. There was nothing on her table except for a note from my dad saying 'see me in my office.' I didn't bother texting my father because I don't want to confirm the truth. 'Maybe they are not together,' was all that I told myself.

My heavy heart found its way to my mom's flower shop, a business my dad opened just so 'she has something to be busy about' and perhaps so 'he could keep his affairs in private.'

'Don't worry darling, I'm just waiting for the right time,' was the last thing my mom said to the person she was talking to over the phone. She hastily put down the receiver when she felt my presence.

I pretended that I didn't hear anything and showed her my painting of a happy family, our portrait that won the first place. She embraced me and patted my back. I didn't ask anything and hugged her back.

And in silence I cried to ease the pain, to keep the truth, to pretend deaf and that I didn't hear anything.

*******

It has been years since the last time I bent down my knees and asked for God's rescue.

Ten years ago, I had also bent my knees but He didn't listen to my prayers. I have lived on my own since that day when the court has released my parents' annulment paper.

But I guess, my heart knows that there is no one else I could run to but to Him.

Why does history have to repeat itself?

I thought everything was running smoothly between me and Barbara even if I could not give her a child but I was wrong.

It's breaking my heart hearing everyday that somebody else can make my wife happy and feel special but what can I do? I don't want to lose her just like that to the point that even if it hurts, even if it's killing me, I'll just keep the truth to myself and find comfort in God.

Who knows, this time, God will listen to my prayers. Maybe my wife will wake up one day longing for my touch, wanting me, needing me, just like the first time we made love, when we were both happy and nothing else could separate us apart.

Why do I have to always hear things that I shouldn't? Why do I always have to be the one keeping the pain?

I could not afford losing my wife. I will never let her go even if it means living in a make-believe that my wife still loves me and not that Charley who keeps her awake every night, I don't care. I will live in pain if that means waking up next to my wife, feeling her heartbeat.

"Kenneth?"

"Barbara? What are.."

"I'm so sorry honey. I'm so sorry." Barbara started crying and threw her arms to me.

Could it be that she is sorry because she would finally ask for her freedom so she can live with Charley? God? How could you do this to me twice?

"How did you know that I'm here honey?" I said while trying to compose myself.

Barbara wiped her tears and looked into my eyes.

"I thought you were.. you were seeing somebody else honey because you always go home late and.. you were cold," she said in between tears.

"I thought of following you and ended up being here, in church."

I was speechless for a moment before my senses brought me back to reality.

"But who is Charley honey?"

"Charley?"

"Yes. Since that college reunion that I missed attending, you've been talking to Charley over the phone almost every day and the way your voice sounded like was you were all happy and sweet. I could not ask because..."

My wife giggled and started drawing circles on my chest and every time she does this, I always lose my senses.

"Honey, not here please. Tell me, who the hell is Charley?"

"You thought I am cheating you that's why you were cold?"

"Who is Charley?"

"Honey you have to sign up in Facebook so you are updated."

"What?"

"Don't you remember? Charley's my bestie in college who said you stole me since we started dating."

"Yeah."

"We are just catching up. She is happily married with her husband Jensen."

"Oh."

"I guess we are both stupid not to talk to each other about our doubts. We both thought we are fooling each other!"

I nodded while controlling my tears. God has answered my prayer.

Barbara held both my hands and kissed me on my forehead and whispered, "What happened to your parents won't happen to us. I love you honey from Aparri to Jolo."