There Is A Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It

Story Time (Ch. 3)

I took a step back as the other guys moved in to talk to Bryan, I smiled as I walked away. Once out of sight of the guys, I ran back to my car. I got into the drivers seat and lit another cigarette while breaking down crying. How could my own fucking mother say that to me? Why is she so mad at me? What have I ever done to deserve to hear her say that? I should be happy, I was fucking hanging out with Bring Me The Horizon and being interviewed by Bryan Stars. But she just had to call and say that! The passenger and back drivers doors suddenly opened and I shrieked as two people got in my car. My jaw dropped when I saw who it is.

"What?" they both asked as they closed the doors.

"Kellin Quinn and Christian Coma are sitting in my car." I laughed to myself, "Could this day get any better?" Oli got in the back sear next to CC, "Oh it just did."

"Are you okay? Why did you leave?" Oli asked.

"Ummmmm..." I looked down at my hands.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" Kellin asked me.

"You know, its time I stop lying to myself. I'm not okay, I promise." I chuckled at my My Chemical Romance reference. "I woke up but I-I wish I hadn't. This is all in my-this is all in my head, right? Honestly my arms a-and legs are completely separated from my will to my want- to my want to move forward. Move forward? Right. Move forward, right? This ro-the room matches my mind and I used to break this, all of it. The light is now-The light is now on. Um. The room is completely lit up, but for some reason I still can't-can't see absolutely anything, not even through my lids. I-I-I just don't wanna even be, I don't wanna be here. Wait, what? Why? Within a matter a seven hours of sleep I'm numb, not loved-not loved? Wait, I'm loved, right? Right?

It just-it just arrived. It just- its stupid. I'm stupid. Am I? Yesterday I was high on happiness, yesterday I wanted to see the day... Today I want nothing, no passions...what is passion? Am I fucking insane? I ha-I have to be fucking insane. Within five minutes of this next 24 hour day, I've already asked myself more questions than I've asked myself in the past year of my whole entire life.

I feel ageless. I feel lost. Actually not even lost because if I was lost that would mean I existed, which I don't. Wait, do I? Yesterday I did. Or did I?" Silent tears started streaming Down my face as I neared the end. They were speechless. I leaned back and looked at Kellin, "Joel Favier wrote and recorded that monologue, but it sums up how I feel half the time and right now." I closed my eyes as I heard CC open his door, get out, and close it. "Already scaring people away... I should know when to stop by now."

My eyes flew open when my door opened, CC stood there holding his hand out to me. I hesitantly took his hand, he then pulled me out of the car and wrapped me in a hug. I heard more doors open and close, then I felt more arms around me as people joined the hug.

"CC!" Someone screamed and we let go of each other.

I chuckled, "You've got to be kidding me..." Oli and I laughed as Ashley Purdy came into view. "Oh my god."

"What?" CC asked.

"What are you doing CC?!?" Ash yelled still a distance away, "I thought we were-Oh! Who is this?" Ash asked as he reached us. Oli and I couldn't stop laughed. "What is going on?" Ash asked.

I calmed down and spoke, "Nothing it's just that I met you yesterday, I met all of you yesterday. Well I didn't meet you," I said turning to Kellin. "It's an honor meeting you by the way, you have the voice of a god damn angel." I hugged him as I spoke. "My names Blaze, well it could be Oli because I'm supposed to by Oli Sykes for the day, but that's for another time. Anyway, I realize that I'm rambling, I tend to do that when I'm excited or overwhelmed. But I met you all yesterday and so did my dad and he completely fan girl-ed on you yesterday." I finished, speaking to Ash now.