Saraphine

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

As seconds of silence stretched on after Saraphine's confession, she glanced at Daniel, desperate for any clue as to what he was thinking. She knew the moment her eyes met his that she'd been wrong.

Daniel had not known her secret.

His eyes dropped to her stomach. He let out an animalistic sound, caught somewhere between a growl and a hiss. His calloused hands rammed themselves through his thick hair and began pacing wildly.

Saraphine had seen him like his before. Perhaps not quite this angry but in a similar temper. She knew it was best to simply sit down and let him pace it out. So she took a seat in the chair once more and began to wring her hands in her skirt.

It wasn't until his pacing slowed and his muffled cursing grew silent that Saraphine spoke. "You didn't know, did you?"

Daniel threw up his hands and fell down hard in the other chair across the table from her. "I reckon I knew...." His voice turned gruff and he cleared his throat. "I reckon I knew he'd force you the minute I was gone.'

Silence reigned a moment long and finally Daniel met her gaze. "Is this the first one? Is this the first time you've had a babe in you?"

Saraphine was surprised by the question and by the concern in his gray eyes. She nodded slowly. "Yes, it's the first."

Daniel let out a long sigh. "I'm thankful for that, at least."

Her confusion grew. "Why?"

Daniel reached across the scarred table top and took her hands in his. The warmth from the contact went clear to her soul. "I know how frightened you were of getting with child. You always said you couldn't bear to have your child ripped from your arms like you'd seen so many other women have to endure. At least now, you'll never have to know that pain."

A tear slipped down Saraphine's cheek. How had a man so very perfect ever been created? Even in learning she was with a child, another man's child, his only concern was for her.

Daniel's thumb raised and gently wiped the tear away from her skin. "Don't cry, Saraphine. It kills me inside when you cry."

Saraphine swallowed hard. "You don't hate me?"

His gaze softened as he brought her knuckles to his lips in a tender caress. "I could never hate you, my Saraphine. Hell, don't you realize you're all that's kept me going since my parents died and life turned upside down?"

Saraphine was quiet for a long while as his words soaked in. She had always thought of Daniel as her rock. Her protector. He was what gave her strength. Never had she suspected that she meant all those things to him.

"Then why don't you want me here?"

Daniel's face screwed up tight, the expression pulling at his mass of scars. "Who the hell said I didn't want you here?"

"You did. Just a few minutes ago."

Daniel's eyes became distant as he thought back. Then he shook his head roughly. "I never said I didn't want you to stay. I said I didn't expect you to stay."

"What's the difference?"

Daniel rubbed his hand over his face. "Hell, Saraphine, you've been a slave your whole life. You've been forced to live where they wanted, do what they wanted and never able to decide anything for yourself. I didn't buy your freedom expecting you to come live in my cabin and be thrown into yet another life you didn't choose.

"I bought your freedom so you could have the life you choose to have. You can go where you want. You can do what you want. You can be whatever you want to be. You're not obligated to me."

"Obligated?" Saraphine whispered. Was the man completely addled?

Daniel stood and walked to the dusty kitchen window. "I know you loved me on the plantation when I was the only friendly face around. But, Saraphine, there's so much more out there and you're too damn good to settle on a man like me. I'm an uneducated, ignorant mountain hick. I have no money, nothing to offer and I can't exactly walk around side by side in the city with you." He pointed to his face as he said those words.

"Just rest a few days here because I'm sure it's been a while since you've really rested. Then I'll take you into the city, get you settled in there and you can have your own life. There aren't so many small minded folks here. You'll find a few, here and there, but even with a baby, you'll be welcomed by most. Life can be whatever you want it to be, Saraphine. You finally have a choice."

Saraphine watched him walk out the door and then she remained there staring at the slab of wood.

Freedom?

A choice?

Daniel thought he wasn't good enough for her?

He had always done everything within his limited power to protect her and care for her. Daniel had been her one constant since the age of ten. He had been happiness, joy, love and strength. He had stolen pies and bribed slaves just to let her have a silk lined, burlap dress so she would know how it felt to feel such fabric upon her skin.

How could he think there was anything in the world better than himself for her?

Daniel was her choice. He had always been her choice.

What good would her freedom be for her if Daniel was not a part of it?

Saraphine stood and wrapped her coat tighter around herself before rushing out the door. Daniel was standing beside the barn. His back was to her and he was leaning against the wall as if the weight he carried was too great for his legs alone to bear.

Saraphine rushed toward him. He must have heard her approach because he turned. "Saraphine? What are you doing?"

Saraphine chose not to respond. Daniel had always talked enough for the both of them. She threw herself into his arms and kissed his shocked lips.

Daniel did not respond at first. But, his shock wore off fast and his lips came alive beneath hers.

Two years of heartbreak, of believing her love was dead, all vanished in an instant.

Daniel let out a growl beneath her lips before grabbing her hips and lifted her into the air. Her legs went around his waist and Daniel carried her to the cabin.

It wasn't until Daniel laid her down on the bed that their lips separated. "I love you Saraphine. But you need to be sure this is the life you want...." His gray eyes were hungry with want as he gazed down at her. "If this goes any further, I won't never let you go."

Saraphine smiled up at her man, her forever. She let her careful grammar slip. "I won't never want you too."

Daniel smiled—the left side of his face crinkling just as it always had. As he lay down beside her, Saraphine felt a moment of worry. Would the memories of Samuel's abuse taint this time with Daniel? Would she feel that fear?

As Daniel slid the barriers of her clothes away, Saraphine felt his fingertips against her skin and knew her worried had been pointless.

Yes, she felt helpless under Daniel's touch but it was an awe inspiring, breath stealing helplessness that made her moan. When his clothes too fell away, Saraphine saw the scars that had not been there before. There would be time to talk about them later. Now she simply wanted to get lost in what they shared.

As they came together, Saraphine wept tears of joy. Their bond, their love, was still very much alive. The Levenworths, that plantation, Samuel, distance, not even death, had severed it.

Saraphine knew, as Daniel clung to her like a man starved, that nothing ever would.