Parallel

4. I Love You More Than All Worlds

"Where have you been? I've been texting you and calling you and I had a bad day at work, then I get in the car and see messages like these," he handed me his phone and I read several messages from an unknown number saying things like, "She told me and she never told you," and "Guess I'm her first choice after all 😏 sorry man."

I put down the phone. "Trevor I have no idea-"

"No! Stephanie tell me what's going on with him! Tristan! It's him it's obviously him now why is he saying those things?" Trevor was really upset.

"Baby I don't know he's just messing with you okay,"

"You're lying to me. You know how I feel about these things. What did you two do today?" He asked.

"Nothing just... Just trust me okay I can't tell you but I promise it's okay," I assured him. "He just found out something about me,"

"Something I don't know? Wow Stephanie. You have to get your priorities in order." He teared up and walked out of my room. He's never left me like that before he's never had that tone with me either. Why was this such a big deal compared to what happened before this? I feel so alone. And angry. I texted Tristan yelling at him about lying to me. No reply. I'm going to bed.

***

I sat up breathing unevenly. I looked at the clock, of course it's 3:00am. It's always 3:00am that I have a panic attack. What's going on with me I can't breathe! I gripped my blankets and rocked back and forth, sweating and shaking. "I can do this I can do this don't give in," I tried to comfort myself but it never works. I grabbed my water and ran into the other room where my mom was sleeping.

"Mommy," I whispered in fear. "Please wake up I'm sorry but I'm panicking again,"

"Hmm?" She groaned and rolled over. "Oh honey come here sit down," she held my hand and comforted me half asleep.

"Am I going to throw up, I feel like I'm going to throw up," my heart raced.

"No sweetheart just don't think about it, it's okay," she whispered. After a few minutes it faded away. God the short ones are always the worst. My mom walked me back into my room to tuck me back in.

"I know you may feel alone, Stephanie. But a lot of people love you. Want me to tell you a story about your father?" She asked. She had barely ever brought him up before so I didn't hesitate.

"Yes please," she began off telling me how in love they were and then he just started disappearing.

"He said he was working late, but I thought he was cheating on me. So he left. I couldn't find him anywhere. But about a week later, he showed up again. He brought me flowers and wouldn't stop apologizing," she told me.

"Did he ever tell you where he went?" I asked.

"No, I never really bothered him about it. I was just so thankful he came back to me! But later that night, we were laying in bed and he said that he felt like it was me and him against the world, and that we should make a secret language. Just me and him. I thought it was sweet and it made me feel young and fun. So we stayed up all night and made it up. The language had all the letters of each word mixed up in a pattern that we understood,"

"That's so sweet," I smiled.

"We wouldn't usually speak in it, but pass notes. He told me it was a writing language only. Whatever that means," she grabbed a piece of paper and started writing. Then she put it in my hand and kissed me forehead, and left my room. I unfolded it and read the words, "I vole uoy eorm htna lal lowrds," it took me a minute, but it read, "I love you more than all worlds," it was something my dad used to say to my mom I've read it before.

Wait a second, I've read it before. It was the very last sentence of every document my dad ever wrote.