• Wolfstar Oneshots •

False Promises

My eyes stung from crying nonstop and I was struggling to swallow. Why him? Why was it always him? Was I really that stupid and naive to believe anything that came out of his bloody mouth? I had walked in on Sirius snogging a small, dark haired girl who was sat on his bed, her arms thrown around his neck, and his hands on her hips. My stomach lurched and turned upside down as I recounted what I had seen. Ugh and to think I was his 'only love' his 'heart'. I started sobbing harder my hands going back and forth through my hair. I was going mad. Why did I let him do this to me, drive me mad. I couldn't help but remember his face as he turned around realizing I had just walked in. His cheeks were red hot , his hair was messy, and his lips were swollen. That was
my look. That was how I made him look. And that look belonged to me no more. Was he so into her that he had to have her right there? Or did he not care for me that much that he didn't give a second thought to wether or not I would walk in? It was my room too for Merlins sake. I was just studying in the library no set time to come back except 'before dinner' but wouldn't he know it could be earlier?
     My face filled with heat and my whole body was shaking. I ran my hands over my tear streaked face and clasped them together so they wouldn't shake so much. Just then the door to the empty classroom opened and I whipped my head around to see Sirius standing there disheveled looking. I stood up at the sight of him.

"Rem-"

"No."

"Listen-"

"No."

He started coming closer and I backed away. His hands up as if to say he didn't mean any harm, but it was too late the harm had already been done.

"J-Just listen Remus, alright" he approached slowly and his voice was cautious.

" get. away." I said my voice trembling threatening to break. A look of disgust and horror stuck on my face.

"Remy, love," he pushed edging closer yet again and this time I had no where to back up and my back was pressed against the wall so he grabbed my wrists and I struggled against his grip.

"GET AWAY!" I screamed
"GET AWAY FROM ME! GEt away! Get away.." I broke and let him embrace me, my wrists still in his rough hands. I cried into his black shirt that smelled like cheap, flowery perfume, and not like him. My head throbbed and my chest ached with sharp pains. I was trembling and there wasn't a part of me that didn't hurt.

"Why," I cried

"Why'd you do this again? Why me? Why'd you do this to me?" I wailed.

"Shhh" Sirius mumbled into my hair. He stroked my head and back and I melted into his touch. I hated myself for allowing him to put me through pain.

"It won't happen again, I'm sorry" he promised. He said the same thing every time and every time there was a new person in his bed.

"Hey, look at me" he put a firm finger under my chin and brought my head up to his. My vision was bleary. In part from my seemingly never ending river of tears, and in part from being drunk on his false promises. " I love you, you know. She meant nothing. It's gonna be okay. It's okay," he lied. And I felt a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach. He then fit my lips with his. His kiss was salty but regrettably sweet and warm and wet. He kissed me slowly and peppered my face with small, gentle kisses. Lingering on my jaw and then dropping to my neck where he sloppily kissed down. His mouth was my weakness. I stayed there, vulnerable, his for the taking. I let him tear me to shreds. "Its okay" he mumbled "lovely" he mumbled again. I was putty under his fingers, under his kisses, and he knew it.
" Remmy, I love you, you're so amazing" Sirius spat poison laced words against my neck. " You know that don't you?" He stopped and took my face in his hands to look at me. Our eyes were level and I couldn't help but see his sweet face and handsome features that adorned it. The way his lips curved taunted with my heart and his pale blue eyes tore into my soul. He was toxic. This boy, this man, had my heart. I swallowed hard, " I know".