Finding Love

Chapter 1

"Ella, Darling can you get me the Pink CD from the back seat? It has a picture of the Beatles." My mom asked me with a soft smile on her beautiful face.

"Sure, Mom." I said as I rummaged through the Backseat by turning in the front seat. I couldn't find find it.

"Its not here Ma, I think Dad took it." I said.

She sighed.

"That silly old man, Always stealing my CDs" she said shaking her head and laughing and looking at me causing the car to go to the side of the hill we were riding.

"You got your Eyes from him. The same Forest gre-" She stopped talking when she realised that the car was going to slip off the road.

And thats exactly what happened. The car slipped off the road and Hit a tree.

A fuckin tree. The car hit the tree in the drivers side making my mom's hand go squash into the ugly metal of the car.

"Elle, Get out of car. " she told me as the stupid Airbags burst in our aldready Battered faces. I could see the agony in her Honey brown eyes.

"But -" I wasnt going to let her die just like that.

"NOW." My mom said. She was having a hard time breathing.

She somehow got the energy to push me off the slightly turned car.

I felt a pair of arms gather me when I hit the dirty ground outside the car.

My mind was in shock. This was just a sick nightmare. It had to be .

The pair of arms dragged me further away from the car.

I heard it before I saw it, The car was on fire. And my mom was inside it.

"MOM!!MOM." I screamed trying to get to my mothers body.

I finally got out of those wretched pair of arms and ran to my mother.

"Mom!Mom!!Please Please ...Oh God,Please."I screamed in desperation as I neared my moms body.

I watched in horror as sparks paved way to flames and licked lightly at my mothers unconscious body.

The flames were burning me as well, but I couldn't bother to care.

I tried waving my hand around her, Trying to get the fire away from mom.

The last thing I remember before I blacked out was someone pulling me out of the car from my waist.

"Ella, Ella. Honey, Get up." I heard someones faint shouts, but I couldn't exactly say who.

The flames danced in front of me devouring my poor mother. All the smoke was making me choke.

"Noella!!Noelle!!"

I wake up startled, sighing in relief and realizing it was just a nightmare. I looked up at pale blue eyes that my mother used to have as well. I sighed at my aunt Eliza Again.

"Same nightmares?" she asked as she pulled me into a bear hug, letting me know she was there for me.

"Yeah." I whimpered and she looked at me with those sympathetic eyes that I hated.

"Its Okay, Im fine now. Just another nightmare. You can go back to bed now." I said and smiled at her weakly.

"Are you sure?I could stay if you want me to.We could watch some movies like you and your mom used to." She offered.

I visibly flinched when she said that. I saw the apology in her eyes when she realised what she just said.

"Im sorry Elle, I'll never be your own mother. I know. And I'm not trying to be. You have to let go of her honey. Sooner or later. She wouldn't want you to be like this.Come here."

She came and sat next to me squeezing me into one of her bear hugs.

Aunt Eliza was my mothers sister, Best friend and my godmother. She was the one I turned to when i couldn't handle anymore of my fathers drunk self.

I know I have to let go of what happened. I know. But i just cant. I dont want to leave her. Not yet.

Before I knew it, I was crying. I hated crying. It made feel really weak. But those traitorous tears kept falling. It made me feel all the more broken.

"Shh Its okay,Everything will be okay." She held me tight, whispering and rocking me .

But that was thing. It wasn't okay. And it hadn't been since mom went. And I don't think it will ever be. When mom went, she took everything good with her.

My once perfect world was crumbling before my own eyes. My Daddy, the one I always turned to couldn't look me in the eye. My own father.

I knew the look in his eyes. He blamed me. I blamed myself too. If I could turn back time and die instead of her, I would.

It hurt me. Everything hurt after Ma's Death. My father hated me. Couldn't even look me in the eye. My best friend Avery, The Only one who could understand me. The only one who actually got me left me as well. She was there to piece me back together when Ma died. She was the one who held me at night when my nightmares came to haunt me. It was always her. Always Avery. She fixed me. And then God just had to take her away.

My whole world. Everyone. Every fucking person I loved was leaving me.

It was like the universe wanted me to feel lonely.

My heart still broke when I thought of Avery or Mom. And I don't think I can ever feel complete or happy ever again.

It was sad. Depressing actually.

But all I could do was break down in the arms of Aunt Eliza the second time this week.

I wanted to be strong. But I cant.

I just cant.