South's
Agad akong nanakbo matapos niya akong halikan at pumunta sa may dalampasigan at ibinagsak ang aking sarili sa buhanginan
Lance, you're too confusing...
At the same time your killing my insides
Madilim na at mukhang kainan na sa reception dahil may disco lights na at halatang nagkakasiyahan na sila
"Lintik ka talaga kahit kailan Lance" huminga ako ng malalim at mahinang ibinuga 'to sa kawalan. Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko na hinalikan ni Lance, naalala ko nung nasa kotse kami nung hinalikan din niya ako
Ang daming kaisipan na namumuo sa utak ko, mahal na din ba niya ako? Posible naman, pero dahil ba wala si Phoebe?
Pansamantala akong nakatitig sa madilim na kalangitan, walang stars. Ang lungkot tuloy, inilibing ko sa buhangin ang aking mga paa at niyapos ang tuhod ko tyaka ipinikit ang mata ko para damhin ang malamig na hangin
Kung alam mo lang kung gano kita ka-mahal at handa akong mag pabihag sayo, lahat gagawin ko but why are you so numb? I can handle rough things just for you yet you're just a water while I'm already a flame
How long are you going to stay torpid? Kailan mo ba mapapansin na patay na patay ako sa'yo at sayo ko lamang pinapaikot ang mundo ko
"South..." the familiar voice woke me up, lumapit siya sakin ngunit hindi ko siya sinusulyapan
"I can explain" ani pa niya pero wala akong reaksyon sa sinabi niya. Then explain why are you so damn sweet that you're already confusing my feelings
"Kasi may gusto akong malaman mo South, at wala akong ibang alam na paraan para ipaliwanag sa'yo to. You know I'm not good with words right? You got something I need, and you're the only person I feel" sambit niya ngunit nanatili akong tahimik
Out of a million of people, why me Lance? Why did you choose me to be your play mate? Do I look like a expert in escaping?
"South naman..." isinandal niya ang ulo niya sa balikat ko ero di parin ako kumikibo hanggang sa nakakuha ako ng lakas para makapag salita
"There's this person whom I will never stop loving, I always love that person anyway. Nakakatawa nga eh, kahit na alam ko na we will never quite made it to be lovers, we got so close but we never got there. Just friends" mahabang pag papaliwanag ko. Ayaw kong derektahan na sabihin sakaniya ang lahat, I want him to think about it and maybe kapag naintindihan na niya ao that's a sign na baka may chance na may matawag akong 'us'
"South are you telling me that..." humina ang boses niya sa bandang huli at mabagal akong tumango, bigla siyang tumayo at napamura tanging ang tahimik kong luha ang nangusap para sakin "Sh*t South" I covered my face with my palm at umalis na siya
I should've not tell him the truth
Sa ginawa niya, mabilis kong pinag sisihan na umamin ako. Umalis lang siya at ganun ganun nalang 'yun, isa akong friendship wrecker kasi na-fall ako at rabe, napaka tanga ko
Lance kung alam mo lang na handa akong i-sacrifice lahat para lang sayo, at handa akong masaktan kung hindi mo kayang tanggapin na mahal kita. Handa akong maiwasan at masaktan ng paulit ulit, kasi hindi ako tanga para paniwalaan yung sinasabi nilang pag mahal mo palayain mo, hindi ako ganun ka tanga
Tumayo ako at isinigaw ang sakit at katangahan na ginawa at nararanasan ko kasabay ang paglampas ng alon
"OO LANCE! MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LET YOU TO TAKE DOWN MY GUARD, I MAY BE WEIRD BY LOVING MY ONLY TRUE FRIEND AT HAYAAN NA SAKTAN AKO!! KASI NGA MAHAL KITA AT HINDI AKO GANUN KATANGA PARA MAGPARAYA! PERO HINDI AKO SELFISH KASI RERESPETUHIN KO YUNG PAKIKITUNGO MO SKAIN KNOWING THAT YOU'RE ALREADY IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND SAD TO SAY THAT WASN'T ME AND IT WILL NEVER BE ME! Nakakalito na kasi Lance, you act as if you don't like me but your actions tell me I was somebody important at nag assume lang ako..." I ended up falling unto my knees and crying, he's no superman to save me and he will never save me because he always think that I'm already saved when I always fall
Walang Lance na bumalik--
"South" tumingala ako at nakita siya, narinig ba niya lahat?
"Lance..." I thought he already left me, then why all of a sudden come back?
Inilahad niya ang kamay niya and he smiled at me, it abruptly gave me hope. Hindi ba siya galit?
"Maybe it's time for you to know how special you are it doesn't matter if rejection lies ahead" I took his hand at inilagay niya 'yun sa balikat niya ganun din ang ginawa niya sa isa kong kamay he held my little waist as we slowly dance to the romantic rhythm coming from the wedding venue
How many times
Did I miss the signs?
My stupid heart
It left me blind
"Lance, naguguluhan ako" napapailing ako, mali 'to mahal niya si Phoebe. Para ko siyang inaahas sa girlfriend niya
Nobody else would forgive my mistakes
Nobody else would've stayed
One step ahead of me
You saw what we could be
How did you know
Down in your bones
That I'd come around?
"Then let my actions answer your questions" He smiled, it wasn't a smile of pity but a smile of light
One step ahead always
Guiding me through my haze
Was too scared to see
What this could mean
But I see it now
I see it now
"Lance narinig mo?" tanging tango ang naisagot niya sakin, his smile was wide and rousing
"Mukha ba akong bingi? Did you really thought I can leave her you here alone and crying? No" at nakangiti siyang umiiling as my tears escaped for the joy I felt
We were holding each other swaying to the melodious song. Pinunasan niya ang mga luha na nag-aalsa saaking mata, all I did was to cry and nothing more
"Lance naman..." bahagya akong natatawa habang naluluha at tumungo sa hiya
"Walang mali sa ginawa mo South, you just confessed how much you loved me. Why didn't you tell me?" he said as he tried to glimpse on my face at tinatago ko to, covering my face with my palm habang umiiyak ako
Eto na ba 'yun? Is there any chance for the both of us?
How could I
Ever be enough?
Worthy of
Someone else's love?
God, ano po bang maganda ang ginawa ko sa buhay para pagbigyan ako sa bagay na gustong gusto ko, ang taong mahal na mahal ko
"Lance naman ih" tanging sambit ko habang patuloy sa paghikbi, he was chuckling as he rub his palm on my cheeks and lifted my face
"South you're a step ahead of me, I don't know what to say" he was full of happiness as he began to run a tear from his eyes "I am overwhelmed South, why the hell didn't you tell me?" hindi ako makapaniwala sa nangyayari ngayon, is it even possible that I'm dreaming
"Lance totoo ba 'to?" I asked between my sobs as he nodded continuously while still bearing his vibrant smile
All of my hang-ups and all of my fears
You made them all disappear
"Sshh.. South cheer up, we're good okay?" Then he kissed my forehead and again, returned his glimpse on my eyes intently staring at my gladness
One step ahead of me
You saw what we could be
How did you know
Down in your bones
That I'd come around?
"L-lance s-sorry ka-kasi ma-mahal na mahal kita" umiiyak na sambit ko at tumango nalamang muli siya holding me closer to him, my head resting on his chest
"Why did you kissed me awhile ago Lance? Sa wedding venue..." mahinahon na tanong ko, peacefully placing my flaws to this guy whom I loved
One step ahead always
Guiding me through my haze
Was too scared to see
What this could mean
But I see it now
I see it now
"I'm just being possessive like a f*cking jealous friend from someone's intention" his words assured me I was safe in his crib
BINABASA MO ANG
Santillian Series 1: Santillian in Distress
Ficción GeneralSouth Santillian, the youngest that has fallen in the depth of her dreams. What's worst? It was a nightmare, a Santillian in distress have engage herself to a weird pleasure in loving someone who doesn't love the slightest idea in loving her back. B...
