The Thoughts And Things That Go Through My Head

My thoughts

Here's where everything happens, and it's the difference between what is said and what is kept inside the deepest parts of my mind. This is me.
Alot goes through my mind in one day, it usually starts out in the morning when I wake up, and the first thoughts that come to mind are, "well time to go back the place I hate thinking about, the place where most kids meet friends and talk and well me, I just sit and stay quite because most people wouldn't be able to fully understand my thoughts and the words that leave my mouth jumbled as every last one escapes my mouth. Most people would think from the outside I look happy and that I am okay, well if you can't tell where this is going, well, they are sadly mistaken because I am not fully happy and haven't been for about a year now. Most people when they look at me and they look at my life they think "she has the perfect life, why isn't she happy." "she just wants attention." see that's where they are wrong. I don't want attention, I dont like people looking at me and seeing every last flaw I have, I dont like people picking at every little thing I do. I like sitting in the back of the class and never answering questions because I'm terrified to get them wrong, I like being in my own little world and never listening to people. But I can't do that all day everyday. School calls, and no matter how emotionally and physically that kills me and breaks me down. I am forced to go because education and getting a job right away is more important than mental stability. Well that's where I think society is fucked up. In the sense that school and getting perfect attendance and getting straight A's has somehow become more important than mental health.