My Haunting Thoughts

That's what you think.

Please do not look at me funny when you ask "Are you, okay?" and I laugh a small stupid laugh afterwards.

All I will answer back is a fake smile and a slight nod. But that's enough to reassure you, I suppose. Then you'll walk off into your day and go back to not caring.

When you see the light scars that cover my wrists, you'll stare and I'll watch you. Wondering why you seem so ashtonished and confused. But once again you've never cared. Why start now?

I'll tug my sleeves down and change the topic. Which seems to fix the situation.

When I go home, I go straight to my room. Closing my door and undressing, standing in front of my mirror. Starting at my misshapen hideous body. Running my soft fingertips along my lumpy, bumpy skin. Wondering where I went wrong. Wondering why I'm so pathetic.

Staring my scars down, unhappy with myself. Wondering why I made that stupid decision. Disgusted of what I see staring back at me in the mirror. All I want to do is be perfect and be who I dream to be. But then I remember:

"Oh wait.. There is no such thing as perfect and life isn't that easy."