My Haunting Thoughts

Emptiness.

Suicide is a deranged thing. It is a scary, inequitable thing. I've seen suicide in my lifetime. Not once or twice, but three times. No one usually knows when it is going to happen or usually even when it is being thought of.

Many joke and fool around, about the subject. Sick jokes are made and tossed around. There are many loathsome people in this cruel, disgusting world we happen to call home.

Many people will tell you and do their best to express how heart aching suicide is to them. Yet then again, those people telling you all those distressing feelings are the ones that go out and joke around about the topic.
~
It was a fairly warm summer evening. My best friend had asked me to come over because it was a long a day at school. So of course I had agreed. I headed over to their house but as soon as I got there I knew something was wrong. The front door was open and the house was silent. It wasn't usual.

I headed inside and I called out multiple times. Nothing. When I headed upstairs that was it. Center of the hall hung my best friend in the whole world. The greatest friend I'd ever had. Of course I screamed, running over to the limp body. I quickly got the body to the floor and checked for a pulse. Nothing. I screamed over and over for god to help me. Following through with compressions and doing everything just like I was taught.. Nothing. I had to call police then her parents.

I'd never forget the way her mother's voice changed when I told her. I'd never forget the memory of seeing my best friend that way..
~
Now, people will still think suicide is some kind of joke. I forever pray for anyone who has lost someone to suicide. I also pray for the people who look towards suicide as a disgusting thing. It is a mental illness and sadly the person suffering obviously felt like they had no where else to go.