Bear Hugs - COMPLETED

Chapter 12 - The truth this time, promise?

Willow has only been getting worse. I find myself avoiding her a lot in the past few weeks and I feel really guilty about it. Not long after we found out about the child Mafi became agitated.

"I sense something strange. Another life force in the house" He said to me one evening. 

"I, I don't know what you are talking about" I replied trying to hide my guilt.

"The Wolf girl, did you two-"

"No!" I yelled. So he knew she was pregnant.

"The child she is carrying, who is the father?" His face was etched with worry.

"She was attacked. A mortal befouled her" I spat. A look of sorrow crossed his face.

There was a pause then Mafi opened his mouth again.

"What are you going to do about it?" I didn't have an answer to that. I still haven't come up with an answer

I stare into the darkness of the night, I don't think I've moved in over and hour. If only I was there to protect my Willow. If I had made sure she made it safely to her friend's house she wouldn't be in so much pain, and nor would I. I scold myself for being so selfish.

The water ripples as a drop of rain falls down from the clouds. The rain steadily pours harder on my head and drenching my clothes. My stomach growls loudly but I ignore it. My mind is too focused on the guilt, the draining feeling in the pit of my stomach, reminding me that I didn't protect her. My mind is screaming at me, and i can't escape it.

I push my hand into my pocket, finding the pocket knife I keep with me, I drag it across the rock, sharpening it. I stand up, looking around for a vervain flower, they are like 4 leaf clovers, rare, but not impossible to find. My eyes settle on the little plant sticking out of the ground, its purple flowers sinking due to the rain.

I pick up from the bottom, not touching the flower yet. I walk back over to the rock, setting the flowers down, I begin to crush them with my knife, its poison infecting the tips of the knife. The flower mixed with the rain creates a paste on my knife. At this point in time I'm lost, dead, empty. The only thing my mind can focus on is the knife, and the feeling of the blade running through my skin, breaking it, tearing it apart. The feeling of the blood running down to my wrists, and continuing to run down the palm of my hand, and dripping off my fingertips. Due to the vervain, the wound wont heal, making it hurt more. 

You see, because I am a vampire, we are supposed to heal almost immediately. But when our skin comes in contact with vervain it causes the skin to react, much like an allergic reaction, the skin puffs up, blistering and it feels like we have got 3rd degree burn. When vervain comes in contact with an open wound it stops it from healing straight away and it leaves a scar. I keep pressing the blade to my arm, getting deeper into my arm. I don't feel anything, I'm dead, emotionless, empty. 

"Oliver!" I hear her shout. "Oliver where are you?" I don't know where she is, but hearing her voice is enough to help me relax. "Oh my god, Oliver!" She runs over to me, taking in the sight. I watch as the tears fall down her cheeks and her body tremble. 

"It's all my fault." I say. Her hands grasp my face, lifting it up so my eyes meet hers. Her expression is pained, and I know its because of me. She wasn't supposed to see me like this.

"Oliver, it is not your fault." She states, looking into my dull, lifeless eyes.

"It is, it's always my fault. Everything is always my fault." I say, my voice getting shaky. Feelings come rushing back at once, I am no longer empty. I feel the tear slip out of my eye and i have no energy to stop it. "I-I I didn't protect you." She shakes her head and grabs my arm.

"This is not the way to handle your feelings, it's not the way to deal with it. You can talk to me, I am here for you Oliver. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you hurting yourself, especially to this extreme." I look into her broken, glassy eyes. 

"I'm sorry." I whisper and before I can say anymore she presses her lips to mine. The knife falls out of my right hand and I bring my hand up to connect with her cheek. I gently place my hand on her cheek and kiss her deeper, letting her know how sorry I am. 

"Please baby." She says breaking the contact. "Don't do this to yourself, to me, to us." She places my right hand onto her stomach. "Please." I slowly nod as the last tear falls.

"I'm trying." I place a quick kiss on her lips as I stand up to go wash my arm in the lake. I bring my knife with me, washing it off before quickly placing it in my pocket. I pull my sleeve down to cover my arm, walking back over to my girlfriend. "We better go now." I take her hand in mine and we walk through the now lighter rain, heading back to the house.  

As we enter the house Willow and I head to the lounge room where Mafi is no where to be seen. She rests her head in my lap and I run my fingers through her silky hair. I stare into nothingness as her breathing becomes slow and steady. I place my hand underneath her head and put a pillow in my place. I only have one question to ask. I wander the house until I find Mafi outside, fixing the water pipe that runs from the creek up to our little house.

"Mafi," I break the silence. He looks up to me without saying a word. I fiddle with the hem of my sleeve. "I need to ask you something and I need you to tell the truth this time, promise?"

He stops what he is doing and searches me with his eyes.

"You say vampires can't feel love, is that true?" I ask. He sighs.

"No. I have deceived you my boy, though I promise, I did it for you," He sighs. "Your fragile heart, I didn't want it to be broken. I guess its not worth the denial, it was only a matter of time"

I stare at nothing, my internal turmoil released at last.

"Mafi, I think I'm in love" He looks down, almost, crestfallen at my words.

"I know" He answers simply. I am lost for words as a single tear trails down his rippled face.

"I'm sorry" He whispers