Fighting For Us.

Twenty.

There's a pause in the conversation. "What's that?" I ask softly caressing my belly gently.

"It's caused by a mother having twins, or triplets in the womb. It's when one of the babies takes too much nutrients from the other child or children. And as you see, it can be fatal in some cases, just like yours. It's a very rare disease." He explains. "So no, there is no reason to blame yourself for your unborn child's death.." He looks at us like he wants to say more, but instead twiddles his fingers in his lap as he looks Peeta in the eyes.

"There's something else." I note. "Something you aren't telling us."

"You must be a mind reader.." He says lightly, it meant to be a joke, but I can tell by the tone in his voice that he doesn't need to be joking right now. "There is something else indeed..."

"Go on ...."

"Because of the size of the second, smallest child, we now have no other choice than to have you give birth to it when the time comes that you go into labor..."

My body goes numb. What he's just asked of me is unspeakable. He wants me to give birth to a already dead, and lifeless child? That child died in my womb. There was a war going on in my stomach and there was nothing I could have done about it. So, it's not my fault is it? Is there something I could have done to stop it?

"No! No I can't. What's your asking of me is unspeakable. Do you understand that?" I ask him angrily and sadly at the same time.

"Yes, but really Mr. And Mrs. Mellark, we have no other options anymore. There is nothing we can do besides an emergency C - section."

"An emergency C section?" I repeat his words slowly and carefully. "What's that mean?"

"It means that the child still in your womb, is large and developed enough to be able to live on it's own. So if you two agree, we can schedule a time when we can do that right away.."

I look at a Peeta. "We'll have to talk about it once we get home. I'm sorry." Peeta speaks for us.

"That's quiet fine, it's a large decision to make for you two. Is this your first child?"

"No, our second."

"Well I can confidently guarantee that if you do the procedure through us, we will hand you a baby at the end of it. We have a one hundred percent survival rate."

"Like I said, we'll think about it." Peeta says again, his eyes skirting around the outer edges of the room.

"Okay well, I'll give you the number to my personal office, and my home, and personal cell number so you can be sure to reach me at any time."

"Okay, thanks." I nod and wait for him to write down his three numbers. And then I slip it into my pocket before struggling to stand and when I do, Peeta sits me back down.

"You can't stand or walk! Remember?!" He shrieks frantically, sitting me down and he leaves his hands on my shoulders.  "Is that everything then? Are we all done?" He asks the doctor.

"Yes you guys are. For sure." He smiles and hold the door open for us, I nod a thanks and hold the basket of goodies in my lap.

We sit silently in the train, with a a train car all to ourselves. Sometimes it's nice having perks behind our names. All of the perks sometimes do us some good, this isn't a conversation I'd like to have with everyone around.

"Peeta ... " I whisper softly. "What are we going to do?" I ask softly, my voice barely above a whimper.

"I don't know yet Kat, but when we get back your mother should be there and we can talk to her about all of this. Hows that sound?" I can tell he's about to break, because he always combs his fingers in my hair right before he does so. I sit up, and lean into his hard times chest.

"If I do this, it will feel unnatural I believe, like I'm cheating Mother Nature. But I don't want a dead child inside of me for the next four and a half months.."

"I understand, and like I said we can talk about it when we get home, with your mother. I'm sure she's seen this before in the hospital."

"Yeah, yeah your right." I slowly begin to nod to his words. "Why does everything bad have to happen to us?" I ask softly with a breathy sigh.

"Cause God knows we're strong, and we can take it. And it'll make us better people because of these things."

"Your so smart Peeta Mellark." I whisper  into his chest and fall into him. "I love you more than life itself."

"I love you too Katniss, more than you'll ever know.."

***

"Yeah, it's called twin to twin transfusion syndrome, look, I've printed some articles about it." Peeta explains as he hands her the packets of papers he's stapled together. "It's really rare syndrome. Only one in every thousand some people have it." He looks at to mother who puts on reading glasses and looks at the information on the papers.

"Wow.." She says. "The child in womb relationship is really astonishing when you look at it..."

I want to scream at her for being so totally insensitive. But I just nod and hold Peeta's hand. "The suggested an emergency C - section. Since the living twin is large enough to live on it's own."

"How far along are you?" She asks.

"About five and a half months."

"And they said the baby is able to live on it's own. Guaranteed?" She clarifies.

"Yes, guaranteed."

"Well then I see nothing wrong with an emergency C - section." She removes her glasses, pushes the papers back towards us, and takes small sip of her hot tea. "If the operation is a guaranteed success I see no harm is letting them do it." She shrugs.

"I didn't either, and hearing it from you - a doctor - makes me feel so much better." I say.

"Katniss, you said it was unnatural earlier, why change your mind?" Peeta asks.

"Because, it means I can-" I stop myself from saying what I want to say. "It means I can meet our baby sooner." I announce.

"If it's really what you want, for the right reasons, I'll support you."

"It is." I nod confidently.

"Okay, then we'll schedule it for next week, you'll be all ready for the anniversary dinner." He notes writing it down on a calendar.

"Okay."

That night, we lay in bed, and my head lays on his bare chest. Our hands conjoined on his stomach, he looks down at me. "I know why you want to do this, you shouldn't hide it from me."

"To meet our baby." I nod softly.

"You want to go back, and fight with Andler, and Henry." He says.

"Peeta, you have to understand where I'm coming from here. We could be looking at a tyrant again and that's something our newly fragile nation, and government can't afford."

"Kat, I understand. I'm going to let you go, just like the last time. Because I know if I don't, you'll sneak off anyways."

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "But I can't sit by-"

"I don't want you to, I want you to go out there and make us proud. Make me, our kids, your mom, and all of our friends proud." He pauses and smiles softly. "Make yourself someone our children's children learn about in school. Be someone you needed as a kid."

"Peeta, I love you so much."

"I love you too Kat, and I'll support you with anything you do .. reckless or not." He shows a shy smile, and I press my lips to his.

"I'm never reckless." I smile.

"Your always reckless."

The way he said always. The way he put such emphasis on the prized word. It's one of the only single words that makes me smile. It's a privilege to hear it coming from his lips each time he says it. We don't throw it around, and use it every ten minuets. We use it when needed, in serious times. Like when we're scared, or need each other's touch, or when we share a tender moment. And it makes me think:

I can't wait to spend my life with him.