I Have Yet to Understand: "Me"

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I have yet to understand why I’m so worried

 I have yet to understand the reason I cry

  I have yet to understand how to smile without it hurting

   I have yet to understand where I intend to go

    I have yet to understand who is it that I must find

     I have yet to understand what it is that I’m searching

      I have yet to understand when I will grow up

       I have yet to understand why do I always feel watched

        I have yet to understand the reason I cannot let lose and enjoy

         I have yet to understand where it is I will lose my first kiss

          I have yet to understand who will be my first true love

I have yet to understand my fascinations in arts: in literature, in fine art, in cooking, in fashion, in design, in building, in what I aspire to be.

I have yet to understand why is it that I am the way I am, that I change due to the inserted dyes, to the coloured inks, to the blow of the wind, to the gust of the breeze.

I have yet to understand me…

                                                              who am I?  

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I understand or at least know the answer to some of these.

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