His Muggle Wife (A Severus Snape Love Tale)

Chapter 18: His Regrets Once Again

Severus was stunned. For a moment, he stopped breathing. As the reflection of the light died down in the window in front of him, he knew Meredith must have seen Lionel come back to kill him. She had asked for the both of them to stand up and he obliged because he thought that was a last wish of hers, albeit a small one, he could fulfil before he would die. Never once had he thought she would stand in his place. He felt empty now. His heart felt so empty. His heart. The heart he had confessed to belong not only to her, but also to another woman. And Meredith died knowing that. She died for him but not before reassuring him of her undying love for him. He had been unfair to her, he knew. How could he ever have compared her to Lily? Lily had never even given him her heart; she had trusted her heart to another man. Meredith had trusted him with all of hers, thinking in return she had all of his, but in actual fact she was given only half his heart to occupy. Lily did not deserve even half his heart. Meredith deserved his whole heart. She had it now, pure and whole, only for her, but she would never have the chance to know that.

The binding spell Lionel had cast upon them disappeared and he turned to catch her body, and fell to his knees cradling her. He felt a searing pain of heartbreak in his heart looking at the lifeless face, as he remembered the smiling face of a woman walking down the aisle towards him to promise to love and honour him all the days of her life. He made her that same vow but he realised now he had only loved her, but did not honour her. He had dishonoured that love by keeping the memory of a dead love interest to whom he had devoted half his heart, although that dead lover was never his lover. He had insulted Meredith's love and yet she died to protect him. How he wished she would wake up and he could tell her, he could even announce it for the whole world to know, that he would love her with all his heart. That in his heart was carved her name and her name alone. That he would give it all to her, lock it with the charm of her love, and trust her with the key. He felt numb now as he cried, embracing her tightly, and in his cries begged her to wake up, to look at him once again with those big blue eyes of hers. The man who had killed her was standing motionless in front of them. The old Severus Snape would avenge her death straight away but the new Severus had had enough of such feeling of bitterness, of abhorrence, of vengeance. All he wanted now was being with his love, his only love.

Looking at the man who was once his best friend, he solemnly said, "I'm sorry for what I did to you, Lionel. I'm sorry I made you the bitter man you are now. If I could turn back the time, I would choose your friendship over an unhealthy obsession over some girl. I forgive you for everything and I hope you forgive me for all the bitterness I caused you," Looking at his wife's face again, tracing her finger along her jawline, he begged, "This is our goodbye, Lionel. Kill me now. Please. Finish what you set out to do, for I cannot bear another second of living without my Meredith. Please..." He took her hand in his, bringing it close to his heart as he buried her face in the crook of his neck, sobbing, and he closed his eyes, ready for his life to be taken out of him and continued embracing his wife as he whimpered in regret of not having loved her enough, but at least now, he could die loving only her.

Lionel had stood there, equally shocked seeing Meredith taking Snape's place to take the curse. It had not been meant for her but it was too late for him to undo the curse when she suddenly appeared in Severus's place. It was a killing curse he devised which worked based on how he felt and how the other person felt for him. He had been angry with Severus, had held a vengeance against him for so long, and he knew he was not Severus's favourite person in the world either. Had it been Severus taking the curse, he would die instantly when it reached his heart because both of them hated each other. However, the light of the curse died in contact with Meredith's heart. In the moment before she closed her eyes, he saw her smiling at him. It was a sincere smile, the smile he had given her at the café the first time he met her before he scared her. She had looked at his eyes with that smile and he could hear her in his head, as if she knew he would be able to hear her, "I forgive you, Lionel. Please don't harm my Severus. Live well." And she closed her eyes and fell to the arms of the man she loved. They had broken free of the binding curse he had placed upon them. The curse had worked so well on them earlier because Severus still had two women in his heart; it would not have worked for two people whose hearts were wholly and solely for each other. But now the curse had undone itself, which only meant one thing, that Lily was no longer occupying his heart, that both his and Meredith's heart beat for only each other.

Lionel dropped his wand, wearing an expression of remorse on his face. Nobody had forgiven him before or wished him well. Meredith did nothing to him but she had forgiven him and wished him well. He had tortured that woman moments ago just for being the wife of the man he hated. He was waiting for Severus to retaliate to avenge his wife. But he did not. Instead, he apologized and said he forgave him for everything. Looking at his former friend mourning over the seemingly lifeless body of his other half, he was reminded of the young Severus who was his friend. He was kind to him. While others did not accept him at school for being socially awkward, Severus offered him his friendship. Then, a girl got in the way. A girl was the reason for the destruction of the only friendship they both had. Now, the girl lying on the floor was the reason for the change of heart he had, a heart which wanted to resurrect the friendship which was long ago murdered by their obsession on a girl who did not deserve their love and devotion. Looking at Severus's fingers entwined with his beloved's, their wedding bands touching, he walked slowly to them. He was going to claim his salvation. Touching Severus's shoulder, he said softly, "She's alive, Severus. Your Meredith's not dead."

Severus looked up, a hopeful expression on his face, but he did not speak.

"My killing curse did not work on her," he explained, "because she did not hold any grudge against me. Had it been you, it would have killed you because we hated each other. I'm sorry, Severus. I'm sorry for everything I did." He cried.

"We were young and stupid," Severus replied, chuckling a little.

"We were," Lionel agreed and added, "She's just... asleep... but only you can wake her up. My binding curse... it worked because you were still hung up on Lily, your heart was not for Meredith alone. The binding curse worked on the inconsistency of your hearts. Her whole heart was yours, and but only half of yours was hers. When my killing curse hit her, the binding curse which worked on your emotion, was still working. My killing curse did not kill her but it put her in a deep sleep, because half her heart was still devoid of your love when it hit her. By the time you granted her another half, that was when the binding was dissolved, it was too late. I'm sorry, Severus. I'm sorry..."

"How... how can I undo the curse?" Severus asked with a desperate hopeful expression on his face.