Hell or High Water (#Wattys2016)

•That Girl's Just Insane•

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"Knock, knock!" Charlie called as she rapped on the door to apartment 347, luckily Thelia lived on the first floor at the very end of the hall. The only room next to her was a storage closet, almost total privacy. She practically dragged 'John' inside the building and swore to herself that he just took a shortcut she hadn't known about.

As for the name, she couldn't yet stomach the idea that he was the actual Loki from Norse mythology much less utter his name in seriousness despite believing his home life was indeed a soap opera, so it was 'John' for now. He even had the gall to suggest they 'teleport' instead...Charlie was considering that he may actually have a mental illness, and if he grew up in a abusive household. Then she remembered the dinner they shared and decided against it, perhaps they just ignored him a lot and he was antisocial because of it.

I would.

Charlie was snapped back into the matter at hand as the door opened to reveal a discheveled looking young woman. Basically, she suffered from a severe case of Bed Head and apparently they interrupted her annually scheduled nap time. She glanced at her tag along and managed to hold back a smirk, If 'John's eyes became any bigger she could use them for a road map.

"Guess who your new room -"

"No." Thelia stated in a monotone voice still laced with sleep. Out of all the things Charlie had been expecting, an excited squeal or a day to mull the new arrangement over would have sufficed greatly, but she was not expecting a closed door in her face.

She looked at Loki, he rolled his eyes and sighed. Things were apparently going to get worse before they got better.

°°°°°

"Who is Tall Story over here and why the hell are you breaking into my nap time?" Thelia asked snidely, failing successfully at stifling a yawn. Charlie was grateful her friend found the use for a hairbrush and that her now tamed blonde strands have resumed their usual sheen.

Loki seemed content with standing by the door, in case of a spontaneous combustion from too much girl talk possibly, whilst Charlie took her spot on the red modern loveseat, flopping down and propping her leg on the armrest.

"Chill, grumpy," She took a glass of water from Thelia's proffered hand. "You said you needed a roommate? Voilà."

"Pardon me, miss S. S. Slut, but this ship sailed when her double shift ended an hour ago."

"Wow. Way to insult your potential roommate. John and I will take our business elsewhere." Charlie crossed her arms, pretending to appear peeved.

"John? Really?" She paused to give him a approving glance. "You know, you don't look like a John. Maybe a Richard... Or Matthew. Richie Rich."

Loki scoffed in complete disgust. He foresaw his death ensured with these two mortal women and wondered if he should invest in a thing called Life Insurance he overheard a costumer discussing at dinner. But then, a majority of his offspring couldn't bare to look upon him, so what good is any of those mortal trivilaties if his daughter, who welcomed him to some degree, resided in another realm entirely?

"My name is not 'John'," He shot a glare at Charlie, who gave an aggrandized shrug and a thumbs up. "I for one will not tolerate -"

"I'll take him," Thelia interrupted, as if she were simply discussing what breed of dog she wanted. Loki found himself only mildly offended however, and feeling a twinge of surprise, he was beginning to enjoy their straightforward familarity, how they spoke about such rude titles so freely!

Of course there are a share of lowlifes in certain parts of Asgard, but most women their age, still harboring a childlike innocence that neither he could understand, were used to following rules or presenting themselves as something rather to be admired and unattainable then revered for their personal opinions. Maybe he could get used to Midgardian ways after all.

"Great. So, we're cool? You don't have any belongings from what you told me, guess you'll have to buy some then? Well, see you guys." Charlie wanted to see how long it took her to get to the door before Thelia threw a conniption fit. Ten seconds is a new record.

"Whoa. Whoa," Thelia grabbed her arm, leaning in to whisper as if he couldn't hear every word, given he was standing not five feet next to the door. "Who the hell is this guy anyway? You can't just leave him here! I was joking, you numbskull! Besides, did he recently step out of Shojo magazine?"

Both of them shared a small laugh, Loki resorted to clearing his throat as if he hadn't been insulted. In light of Charlie's dislike for marriage so soon in life, she could understand why neither of them were dating at the moment.

"Just a few days? Trust me he'll explain everything. Look, I haven't told you, but I already have an apartment, you know, the ones recently built next to the old firehouse? I couldn't tell you because I...didn't want to jinx it. Stupid, I know."

The truth was that she hoped the money wouldn't fall through, getting a fresh start on your own was proving to be tough, but rewarding. Judging from the expression on Thelia's face she didn't quite believe it was entirely a lie either, at least until 'John' said something that surprised them both. Not to mention Thelia is right, 'John' is a crap name for someone like him, but it was her crap name to hold against him.

"Jinxes aren't idiotic."

Charlie could tell he meant it to be reassuring, but that doesn't mean she had to trust him. "Yeah well, think you can survive here for a few days? I promise she won't poison you."

Thelia stuck out her tongue as she went into the hall closet to retrieve a blanket and some pillows.

Charlie was stopped once again by the door when Loki pulled her aside.

What is this, entrapment?

"Is she... Well, women on Asgard have this time...." Loki had heard of females getting their 'vistor' at certain times in their lives, which seemed like one Hel of a nuance to him from what he read, but he never experienced it firsthand. Even Sif would sometimes sit out a battle or two.

"We have it here too, John. No, she's naturally in a foul mood around this time each week, because when she wakes up from her exceedingly long nap, she remembers how short she is."

Loki gave her an exasperated look, not the least bit amused.

"You know what a joke is, right? I mean, they have that on Asgard? If my hunch is correct, usually is, you are the God of Mischief, no?"

Still not amused at her teasing grin. She wondered how he managed to keep such a straight face and supposed he had eons to practice.

"Fine. But know that I shall tolerate this arrangement for the sake of blending in. I trust you have not forgotten our agreement?"

"Of course not, how could I?"

"Good." He smiled, apparently satisfied with himself. Charlie wanted to gag, but went for a mock smile instead.

"Okay, who wants ranch and nachos?" Thelia asked breathlessly, returning from the kitchenette with three bags of chips in her mouth while balancing the blanket and pillows in her arms.

By this time Charlie was already bounding down the hall and out onto the sidewalk. Loki sighed heavily and figured now would be a wonderful time for the roof to cave in.

°°°°°

A/N: Well, someone's in for a surprise...two things: I know his children aren't mentioned in canon, which nothing in this story is clearly following, but in mythology they are and I'll probably write them in more later.

Thanks so much for voting and/or commenting! It really helps keep me motivated even if I forget to reply.