A Special Witch

Chapter 21:

I looked at Jeremy in shock. Did he just ask me to marry him? No this cannot be happening, I’m in love with Chris, but how could I say no to Jeremy. He stays there looking at me. Waiting for my answer. I looked around. Everyone look shock but happy except for Kayla, Brandt, and Chris. I looked back at Jeremy. His face turns from joy to disappointment. He looks to the ground and starts getting up. I have to answer and it must be soon.

“Jeremy,” he looks at me, “i…I” I shut my mouth, not sure what to say.

“I get it Elena” he stands up and walks out of the room. I go after him.

“Jeremy, wait up” I yelled for him. He kept going. We were outside in the woods now.

“Jeremy, please stop and listen to me” I yelled for him. He stopped and turned around. “What do you want to explain? I get it Elena. You don’t want to marry me. I knew I asked too late. I was going to ask on that night when you got kidnap. I just thought to take the chance now, but I see you love him now. Just leave me alone Elena, I see it in your eyes, but I’ll wait, even if you don’t want me too. I’ll wait for you. Don’t say anything. Just leave me alone and let me think.” he walked off.

“Jeremy I care about you!” I yelled at him, my voice breaking. He kept going.

I stand there watching where he was just seconds ago, sobbing. My sobs became to shaken me so much I fell to the floor and stayed there. I stayed there lying all afternoon, evening and finally nighttime when somebody came out to check for me and find me in a ball, sobbing still. He picked me up and carried me inside. Climbed the stairs and went into my room, got me undressed and put me in my pj’s, pulled the covers back and put me in my bed. He leaned forwards and kissed me lightly on my forehead.

“Goodnight Elena,” Jeremy says, “I really understand, I can wait for you” he backs up and walked out of my room and shut the door lightly. I lay there, staring at the ceiling. Thinking if I made the right choice.

***

I woke up. Not feeling anything; no feelings, no thoughts, nothing but numbness. I looked over to my dresser. There is a note on it folded in half with my name on it. I grabbed it.

Dear Elena,

I love you, but I can’t live here anymore. See your face everyday is just too hard for me. I can’t be in your life anymore. I’m no good to you. You have what you got and I hope you do well with your life. Take great care of Christophe and Anthony. I can’t be around you and just not care for you anymore. I understand you love Chris, but I can’t watch you guys together. I’m sorry. I just can’t do it anymore. I hope you understand. I’ve been thinking it all afternoon and made my decision. When I found you last night. I was going to say good-bye but I couldn’t. You were crying so much and I couldn’t bare it so I put you to bed and wrote this letter. So this is my goodbye. Don’t go looking for me Elena, please.

Love,

Jeremy A. Livingston

I folded the note. Feeling only numbness. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t worry. I feel nothing. I feel like I have no point in living. I got out of bed and went downstairs.

“Good morning Elena” Christophe said. I kept going. Don’t know where but ignoring everyone. I headed to my place. I see something shine and I went to get it. The ring Jeremy bought for me and another note beside it. I picked it up and read it.

Elena,

Keep this ring. It’ll remind you of me. If you still care for me, you’ll wear it everyday. I love you. This is so hard for me and I hope you understand. I’ll love you. Always will. Don’t go searching for me because I’m in a place no one will find.

Love you with my heart,

Jeremy A. Livingston.

I put the note in my pocket and put the ring on my finger. I sat down and let the waves crash into the rocks. Thinking of nothing, staring at nothing. Only hearing the water. Letting myself drown in it. Making myself nothing more. No more thoughts, no more feelings, no more me. Making myself disappear, never returning to her again. A tear runs down my cheek. The last thing I’ll feel on me again.