Bangtan Boys: Love Is Not Over [Original Version] (Complete)

Chapter 10: Drama For Your Mama

Falling in love with someone is a feeling that no one can truly explain. Words can not express how it feels to truly be in love. What can be said is that it gives you a rush. A rush of so many different feelings at once. For me, it was like soaring in the sky like a beautiful bird with the wind peacefully passing through each strand of my hair. Sadly, all great things must come to end. Love doesn't last all of the time. I felt as if I fell and literally hit rock bottom.

I tried to hold on for as long as I could, but I let go and broke. I thought this break up would be great for me. I thought and even for a slight moment felt happy that it all ended. I was horribly wrong about it all. That dreadful kiss that I witnessed disrupted my normal life flow. As time gets closer for the boys to leave, I dysfunction even more.

The constant negative emotion I am feeling due to my heart being one with Jimin's, I feel as if I am just falling apart. At one point I even doubted my beliefs towards love and relationships. I doubted that I would ever truly find the one for me. Jimin and I seemed to just run into so many damn problems, all I can ask is, "what do I do?"

I am lost, I am hurt and I am mad as hell. I walk around unconsciously in my house. It's been three days and I haven't eaten or slept since the incident. How could I? After all of the struggling that I had been through with Jimin, after waiting all of this time to finally be one again only to be tossed to the side for some trash. I was his diamond but, he would rather play with a worthless rock? I felt stupid, used, ashamed and so much more.

I couldn't even bring myself to leave my bedroom anymore. I just lay in bed, staring either out of the window or up at the ceiling looking for answers. Wishing that I had never met Jimin, I started to blame him for being shot, for having to hide our relationship and for being the way I am right now at this moment. What else was I supposed to do? I never asked for anything, only to just be loved. I couldn't even get that from him.

I received text messages from the boys and the twins. I even received messages from my family because they heard about what had happened. I lied to my family saying that I was okay. I never responded to the other texts, not even Namjoon. I thought to myself, how could Lanie and Jimin have the audacity to even try to speak to me after that little stunt? They even tried to apologize over a text. What the fuck? They could at least come to me and speak to me personally and maybe I would accept the apology...maybe. I have tried many times to forgive them both. I just can't. I don't have it in me to.

After almost three whole days of laying in my bed, I decided to just get up and do something different. At least I would try to. I would first start with a shower. In the shower, I thought that I could wash off the negativity from the real world. As I changed into my favorite black romper with white polka dots, I noticed some clothes and jewelry that Jimin had given to me, sitting inside of my wardrobe.

I suddenly grew furious. I began to snatch out all of the clothes Jimin ever bought me and rip them into shreds of fabric. I took down all of his jewelry and broke them with all of my strength. Grabbing a wastebasket, I put the pieces of fabric and piece of jewelry into it. Running downstairs with the wastebasket, I threw it down onto the floor next to the front door and searched for a lighter.

Going through drawers of end tables, bookshelves and kitchen drawers, I had finally found something to work with; a matchbox. Grabbing the wastebasket, I walked out on the the driveway. Placing the wastebasket down, I immediately lit a match and threw it into the wastebasket full of clothes and jewelry. As I watched it all burn into ashes, I started to feel a bit better than what I was before.

I was still a bit down but, this was worth it. I sat down in the grass some feet away from the wastebasket to continue to watch it burn. The feelings I felt the night Jimin kissed Lanie, started to return. This time, more rage than anything. I quickly got onto my feet and started to yell like a maniac.