Kennedy Hoss of Musket

Chapter 5: Rising Panic

There's not much that Crow and I do together or talk about. I just sort of started talking to him one day.

Before it shut down, Musket used to have a school. It was really nice, even if it wasn't the biggest building around. All our teachers came from Twain, but a lot of them moved back as Musket got poorer and corpse syndrome broke out. A lot of the school building was demolished and the materials were put toward other construction plans. The fence for instance had been falling apart before the wood from the desks was worked and painted into fence-form. That's one of the reasons I hate this goddamn fence so much, because it reminds me of our economy that looks the other way and doesn't even bother to put Musket on the map.

When our school was reduced to a single room, class continued. We were taught by Ms. Havensbee, a tall woman with round rosy cheeks. The last lesson we ever had was reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. I learned that St. Petersburg was based on Twain, which had once been Hannibal, like my sister.

Even after Ms. Havensbee had left, I still came to school. I still sat in the second row, though I would have preferred the first. Each day I'd sit there with my paper and do different lessons. And each day I'd collect my things and go back home. After the weekend one day I went to the little lesson cubicle and discovered that the tarp roof had been removed, as was two of the walls. I remember sitting in my desk for five minutes letting the heated tears roll down my cheeks.

Sitting there in that desk I had realized a lot about myself. For instance, I'd been considered a bit of a know-it-all, a name that'd scarred me and kept me distant from others. But I guess I was a know-it-all for continuing to go to school. Then I got mad, and pushed my desk over. I put my foot through the chalk board. I pushed over more desks.

Then Crow came along. I didn't know how long he'd been watching me for, but he silently handed me a bat and I wiped away my tears. With one swing I broke the clock still rocking away on the wall.

We spent a good while swinging bats around the room. I smashed everything, the mug on the teacher's desk and her porcelain apple. I shattered everything, wounding my desire to keep something as a memory. I didn't need any.

Now I sit on the fence next to Crow, eating the little chocolates before they melt. My battery's still flashing, but I ignore it. Crow drinks his water and stares at the seesaws.

Once Crow told me he wanted to live alone in the woods, with maybe a dog, so that he'd never have to deal with people or care about them. I thought at first about how sad that was that I didn't realize how smart it seemed. But I like to think Crow'd let me live with him anyway.

"Did you find your sister?" He asks after a long drink of his water.

I shake my head and screw the cap back on my own.

"Dr. R hasn't seen her. But I don't really feel like she's in trouble."

"What does your gut think she's doing?"

I pause and lower my head. One voice said she had her reasons, and she was fine. The other said I should be seriously worrying. All my life I've had feelings about things, and one feeling has always been more considerable than the other, but this time all my guesses are tied. This must be what it's like to be completely lost.

"Maybe getting me a birthday present."

Crow sighs and looks out at he playground. "One day I'm gonna pick up this damn fence and I'm gonna put it on the other side of those swings, and you and I will be the first ones swing on them."

I smiled at the idea. It wasn't exactly rational, but it was true that some of the fence could be knocked down and then continued around the playground. Maybe even the library. Was he being sarcastic, or would he really consider trying? Would I sound dumb if I offered to assist? Maybe not if I presented it in the right form. But before I can, Crow looks at his watch.

"Supper time," he says.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"See you," I say as I hop down from the fence with my paper bag. I climb on my bike and ride home. Because we're so poor, I've been raised to eat as much as I can whenever I can, even if I'm not hungry, but not to eat rations unless I actually am hungry. I try to not eat as much so I get to sit at the table with Hannibal, but today she isn't home so it doesn't matter. But I pray she will be when I get home.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Don't forget to comment and vote! Thanks for reading everyone :)