The Synonyms of Melancholy [In Editing Process]

Three Feet Away

"I should be crying you know" – She said staring at the beautiful small skyline she used to love, the flickering lights at night, watching people dealing with their lives from above and so far away. She always said things are better when you look at them from above, I guess that says a lot about her personality.

There was a big silence before he dared to talk. He, also looking at the distance while the morning sun brightened his face and made his eyes squinty.

"... it's okay, i mean you don't have to cry to feel"

"...That's the thing I just have one feeling"

"And what is it?" – He said in complete concern and curiosity.

It got really quiet, the only thing that you could hear was the wind that made the rusty "DANGER, CLIFF" sign cling against the also rusty metal beam crash barrier they were leaning against. It had fainted black and yellow stripes from all the rain throughout the years. 

He looked at her after the long pause, she had a straight face looking at the distance but not actually admiring it, like when you get lost in your thoughts and stare at the nothingness.   He looked at her complete self, she was wearing an olive green tank top with an open white shirt on top, some black skinny jeans and her "about to fall apart" black converse; beside her was her blue backpack, filled with books since it had been the last day of school and they had to take everything home.

She took a big breath, sighed and turned to face him, to look at him in the eyes. She jumped the crash barrier to be right in front of him

"I wanna die, kill me" - She said in almost a whisper and with a big fake smile, while walking backwards towards the cliff.

"Wait what? no! stop!" – He screamed while jumping the barrier.

Between the edge of the cliff and the barrier there were around 10 feet. And after that there was a big fall, there was nothing special down there except for barren cliff edges and at the bottom a few trees before it became the typical foggy forest of Sunstone.

She stopped three feet away from the cliff. She had eyes like the ones serial killers have on T.V., penetrant and emotionless, like she could discover all of your secrets and fears by simply looking at you.

"Kill me, push me" - She whispered in a begging tone.

She was smiling like if that was the only thing she wanted out of life. The hair on the back of his neck stood rapidly after that thought. He never imagined he would see her in this state.

"... push me" – A few tears started piling up in the corner of her eyes, making her eyes look crystalized.

"No! i won't push you, why? Why are you doing this?" – He took a few steps closer to her hoping it wouldn't startle her.

"Why not?" - She said in a cocky yet sad tone that made a little weep come out of her mouth cracking her voice for a second.

His eyes started to water. He couldn't believe he was actually in this situation, and that he had to fix it. He kept repeating in his head wake me up hoping it was just a dream, a nightmare. And that in any time his alarm would make him jump out of bed and go to school.

"Don't do this i care for you"

"No!" - She screamed as loud as she could.

Her face changed completely from suicidal maniac to burning rage. She took a step towards him, leaning in to make the conversation much more intense.

"I'm a cold hearted bitch that can't even cry for the loss of one of the most important people in my life.

"Don't care about someone who's not able to care for you" – She was actually crying by then it was very small and discreet like if she was ashamed. Something she never was. She was the kind of person to laugh and talk about inappropriate topics out loud not minding whatever people thought.

He didn't know what to say, i mean what could he say?. She gave up at the conversation by taking one step back towards the cliff. But now she had gone back to the suicidal maniac. She was no longer crying, but you could see the border of her eyelids turning a soft pink.

"I don't understand, what happened? who died? Talk to me please" - He took some steps forward now very confused

She stayed silent while looking at his eyes. She looked ashamed almost regretful of saying anything.

He took some more steps forward until he was right in front of her.

"... What happened?"- He wanted an answer and he wanted it now. She gave him an empathetic gaze and took out of her bag something that looked like a diary.

She leaned in like she was going to whisper something in his ear. He stayed still. She gave him the book. Her eyes were watery again but this time it didn't seem sad or happy as a matter of fact. For once they weren't tears, it was just water. He felt happy, he actually helped. He looked at her face and tried to hold her in his arms,

I'm sorry

but in a moment she pushed him and at the same time pushing herself off the cliff.