A child who lives in the home with Aspies might become OCD or OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). They employ perfectionism because they see the Aspie in ritualistic behaviors such as obsessive cleaning and compulsive yardwork. They come to value perfection in themselves and others. Aspies often are blunt in their assessments of others, and so they might hurt the child's feelings with negative feedback when the child's efforts don't meet their own expectations. An Aspie's expectations are quite often beyond the child's abilities. The Aspie can't always adjust his or her requests to a child's age, personality and stage of development.
An Aspie might not seek help with a child who has developmental delays. He doesn't read up on child development unless it is one of his special interests. He is often so obsessive about his own interests that he fails to notice where his child is developmentally, and fails to notice his child's interests. He doesn't necessarily educate himself on where the child should be, and he may not even find time to attend Parent-Teacher conferences at the child's school.
An Aspie parent who might be a classical picture of the absent-minded professor could inadvertently cause injury or harm to his child. He might become so wrapped up in his special interest that he doesn't notice his child has fallen into the swimming pool and is drowning. Or he might forget his infant in the backseat of the hot car because he is daydreaming of his next amazing invention or the book he is thinking of writing.
An NT child living in a home with an Aspie will often be living in their parents' shadow. The parent is always working towards his next great invention or career. He is always building and designing and devising something ingenious and creative. He never has time to take a look at the things that his child has achieved or created. He is so busy in his own little world that he fails to attend the important events in her life. He fails to recognize all of the things that she has accomplished.
The child eventually stops asking his parents to attend anything. He feels alone and largely ignored by them, except for their occasional intrusiveness. The Aspie parents might be overprotective, and so they smother him in trying to stop him from getting hurt or in efforts to avoid spending the family's money on more doctor bills due to his accident or injury. The Aspie parent doesn't realize that this curtails his individuality and autonomy in ways that are extraordinarily damaging to his core self and core beliefs.
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Quirky, Eccentric Parents
Non-FictionAre your parents quirky, eccentric or absent-minded? Do they seem self-absorbed, neglectful, rude, critical or stubborn? Are they socially awkward, avoidant, and overly protective? Do you sometimes feel as though your parents don't 'get' you at a...
