Quirky, Eccentric Parents

Conclusion

Aspies prefer to have their information provided to them in a blunt and factual way. They also like to provide information to others in this way. Unfortunately, Aspies don't always know the social rules. They may feel that it is appropriate to be honest even when it is hurtful to do so. For example, an Aspie might tell his girlfriend that she looks fat in a dress. He doesn't realize that he should keep hurtful information to himself.

Aspies tend to have certain tell-tale physical characteristics. They may look a bit more masculine, including the females. They may have lower-set ears, a face that is asymmetrical, a broader chin, attached earlobes, curled fingers, and sandal foot. Autism spectrum disorder (including Aspies) are said to have 'extreme male brain'. This theory (coined by Simon Baron-Cohen) states that they are less empathetic, less social and more task-oriented, object-oriented, and repetitive than their more sociable human counterparts.

The key to raising children is to encourage self-discovery. This is also the key to managing successful employees. We all must learn how to help guide and mentor others without imposing our will, our rules and our expectations on them. We must reserve our judgments and our criticisms. We must seek to empower and encourage others in their travels, even if their destination is not the same as ours. We must learn when it is time for them to spread their wings and fly.

In order to provide another person with the encouragement for self-discovery, an Aspie would have to learn how to read the facial expressions of another person. The Aspie must listen to what the other person is saying, and try to clarify and process it in a way that makes sense to them. The Aspie must learn to overcome their mindblindness; the inability for them to mindread in the way that neurotypicals do. Some Aspies can overcome some of their brain wiring through learning. Others cannot.

One can see how Aspies in an NT world can cause confusion, as well as how NTs in an Aspie world can cause confusion. Aspies and those on the autistic spectrum are often more object-oriented, and thus tend to lack empathy or the ability to infer meanings from communication and social behavior. Aspies also tend to enjoy solitary and repetitive activities over socialization. This gives the perception that Aspies generally only interrelate with others as a means to achieve their own goals.

Aspies and NTs may not understand each other in the way that a person may not understand the thoughts and behaviors of an ant. Their brain wiring and motivations appear to be completely opposite from one another. Additionally, a majority of Aspies and autistic spectrum people will never be diagnosed. They don't want to feel or be labeled as 'different' from anyone else. It is uncomfortable to be misunderstood, shamed and outcast by the general population, even if you prefer solitary activities.

It is everyone's natural human need to fit in and belong and be accepted. An Aspie child will connect with an adult who gets down to his level and seeks to understand what it is that motivates the Aspie. We all could seek to understand each other better by trying to wear another person's shoes. Aspies are necessary in the world for their innovative ideas, their inventions and their intelligence. They have the ability to do repetitive tasks that others cannot do, such as computer programming. We can thank Aspies for many of the great inventions that we are using each and every day.

NTs who grew up with Aspies can seek to learn more and discover new ways to relate to the Aspies in their lives on their terms. NTs are generally more flexible and social. They can often assist Aspies in navigating through their world. NTs are needed in order to help the Aspie to display his invention to the world. We can anticipate and respect each other's differences and eccentricities, and learn to love each other anyways.

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