Trigger Warning: Self Harm
Song: Chasing Rainbows by Bring Me The Horizon
Picture: Tom
~Tom~
Pathetic. That's what you are. You're nothing more than a pathetic little shit. Your mum hates you, your dad left the family because of you and even Oli left. All of this is your fault, you know? You should just kill yourself. That would make everyone a lot happier if you were just dead. You worthless cunt.
"Get out of my head!" I screamed, pounding the sides of head in attempt to rid of the voice inside my head.
The voice let out a sadistic laugh, Do you really think you can get rid of me so easily? PA-THE-TIC
I slid onto the floor, my eyes shut tight as I continued to beg for the voice to go away. I know I'm pathetic. Everything the voice is saying is one hundred percent true. I'm worthless, mum hates me, dad left because of me and even Oli doesn't love me. I might as well just do as the voice says and ki-
"TOM!" My body froze once I heard my mother shout my name from downstairs. More tears began to fall from my eyes as I violently shook my head.
"TOM!" My mum screamed, obviously pissed that I hadn't already gone downstairs. I quickly wiped my tears away before standing up and walking out of my bedroom.
Once I reached the bottom step, my eyes met with her cold brown ones. She continued to glare at me before she began approaching me. I wanted to back away but I knew that if I resisted- my beating would just be a million times worse. There's no escape.
"You little shit. Why didn't you come down here when I called ye' the first time?" My mum slurred, obviously pissed drunk. She reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. Two odors I had come to despise over the years. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes disgusted me because the smell reminded me of my mum.
Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on my right cheek. I instinctively pressed my hand against my cheek and looked up at my mum with fearful eyes. "Answer me when I ask ye' something!" She shouted before grabbed a handful of my hair and slamming my head against the wall.
I let a howl of pain escape my mouth from the hard blow. My mother gave me a wicked smirk before, again, slamming my head against the wall. "You're pathetic, Tom!" She snarled "Your father walked out on this family because of you" She continued to beat me senseless before she finally decided that she had enough.
"Pathetic" She spat before walking into the living room. Ignoring the pounding in my head, I hurried up the stairs and stumbled into my bedroom.
I collapsed on my bed and began crying violently in my pillow. If Oli were here, he would try comforting me. Fuck, he would've even tried to calm mum down!
Suddenly, I remembered something Oli used to do when mum would beat him. Sniffing, I stood up from my bed and quietly snuck out of my bedroom. I tiptoed into Oli's room and began searching for the shiny piece of medal he would always use.
After about ten minutes of searching, I finally found the razor under Oli's old bed. I carefully picked up the razor and felt a twisted smile tug on my lips. Oli would always make me promise him that I would never use this razor but I could care less. Promises are meant to be broken.
When I asked Oli why he cut himself, he would always tell me that it was a was of relieving the pain he felt inside.... and that's exactly what I needed right now- to relieve the pain I felt inside.
A shaky sigh escaped my lips as I rolled up the sleeves of my sweater and pressed the cold piece of medal against my pale skin. Slowly, I began to slid the blade over my skin.
At first, I felt pain but it was soon replaced by relief. Oli was right- it did help relieve the pain. Lolling my head back, I closed my eyes and let the razor slide over me three more times before I finally decided to stop.
I quickly cleaned the blood off before sneaking back into my room. I hid the razor inside my dresser and laid down on my bed. Looking up at the ceiling, I felt a sad smile spread across my lips.
At least I was able to make one friend today.
YOU ARE READING
Alone // Tom Sykes/Oli Sykes
FanfictionTom and Oli have always lived in a bad place, with their abusive mother always beating them and their father long gone- Oli decides to leave Sheffield for a little while. He promises Tom that he will come back for him but what happens when something...
