A Future to Call Our Own

Chapter 1 - After-Effects of Despair

Chapter 1
After-Effects of Despair

Huh?

What was that just now?

Did I see him awake?

Or was it just the lens of hope?

Or would it be the lens of despair?

I'm not sure anymore.

Because I, too, have locked myself in my cabin.

Ibuki once broke this lock. I remember clearly. The time she was throwing a party for Fuyuhiko.

Maybe I didn't lock myself in my cabin. Maybe they thought I had gone insane and locked me in here. Souda did that to Komaeda, didn't he? Ah, right, he did. I guess I now know what he feels like-- being tied up at your legs and feet with no chance of escape. I wonder what he thought whenever I didn't feed him? Did he somehow eat before Usami released him? How much did he think about his luck, that he would be released?

Have I gone crazy, like Komaeda? Have I finally reached that point of despair? Or would it be hope?

There's a difference, right? In hope and despair . . .

Clicking. There was clicking at my door. Someone was about to enter. I wonder who it would be? I guess it could be Souda to give me some food. They wouldn't want to kill me yet, right? I'm not too far gone yet, right? Oh, no, of course I shouldn't be. I'm still here, my heart's still beating.

It was Fuyuhiko.

"Hey. How are you holding up?" He looked down at me, all tied up on my floor. I didn't answer. "So, you've hit my point, huh? Well, I'm sure the rest of the bastards will fall, too, don't worry. You just got it worse than me."

Fuyuhiko sat down on my bed, still glancing down at me with a sympathetic look. "I'm calling it the after-effects of despair."

"Seems relevant enough," I rested my head back onto the carpet, facing away from him.

"So, uh, how did you end up like this?"

"I don't know. Ask them," I nodded my head towards the door.

He stayed silent for a moment, considering, "Alright." Fuyuhiko's eye-sockets were more caved in that I had originally thought. His eyes looks weary and very tired. I'm sure I looked the same.

Standing up, he walked over to the door, looking back at me to say, "Do you need anything to eat or anything like that?"

"No, thanks." And he simply nodded, starting to walk again before I called out to him, "It's good to see you're out, Fuyuhiko. Stay strong."

"You too, Hajime." And he closed the door.

And I continued my endless stare onto the floor next to me from day until night once again.

I'm not so sure if you would necessarily call this despair anymore. Maybe a depression mixed with despair. I can't honestly say since I don't even know, myself.

I want to see the others one last time before I'm killed off. Please, just let me see the others before I go completely insane in this damn room . . .

I want to see Komaeda. I want to hold his already lifeless hand so he can finally die and get rid of his misery, and ending mine, as well.

Another day passed. I took notice to how hungry I was, and the sheer strikes at my stomach telling me I needed to eat. Sonia came and visited me. Her and Fuyuhiko seem to be the only two who think I don't deserve to be tied up like this. Souda and Akane think I've gone insane, which I guess it expected.