A Future to Call Our Own

Chapter 7 - Tell Me I'm Dreaming (What A Strange Dream)

Chapter 7
Tell Me I'm Dreaming (What A Strange Dream)

So, tell me, Junko . . .
How do you accomplish everything you do?
Please, go ahead, enlighten me.
Enlighten me with all the despair you can muster.
Fill me with horror, with pain, with pure despair.
Tell me.
Tell me everything you want to accomplish.
Tell me what had ever gone wrong to make you like this.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me why I'm here.
Tell me why I'm in this situation.
Why did I have my emotions surgically altered?
Why do I have to worry about everybody that you've hurt?
. . .
I stood there, on the boardwalk, seeing my last few remaining friends one by one get off the island, despair-stricken, hope eliminated.
I was the last to go.
. . .
I'm sorry, Komaeda.
I . . . I guess I must have did it, huh?
For everyone to revert back . . . it must have been my fault, hadn't it?
Ah, I'm sorry, everyone.
I guess I must have . . .
. . .
I felt a vibration in my pocket.
I didn't remember what I had put there.
Lifting what looked like an e-Handbook out of my back pocket, I tapped the screen. A girl fizzled into the screen.
"Hajime, please don't do this. You don't need to do this. You can handle all of it, I know you can. You can push through this despair. Just listen to me, Hajime. Listen to my voice."
I felt like I didn't recognize this girl, but then again I did.
Maybe this will be interesting to hear.
"Hajime, close your eyes."
So I did.
And I soon found myself looking at the girl almost face to face.
How could that be? Wasn't she in a screen?
Interesting.
Her hand went to my face, caressing my cheek.
"Listen to my voice, Hajime. You do not want to revert back."
"The Hajime I still know is still here, I can feel his heart beating, I can see his fear behind his eyes. You are still the Hajime I know. You are here, standing right in front of me."
"Tell me, Hajime . . . Tell me you're still there."
I am nothing but a mere figure in a game.
Just some knight to do the dirty work.
It is a boring game, with a boring storyline. But it is a game.
And, oh, how I love games.
. . .
"Wake up, Hajime."
"Please, wake up," the girl spoke.
My eyes were open, I was awake.
She continued to look at me with tears gleaming in her eyes.
"Do . . . Do you remember our first date, Hajime?" she gave a small laugh, looking down to her left quickly, then back up at me. "How we were on the beach, I felt so happy . . ."
I stayed silent, letting her talk.
She gripped onto my chest. Tears were falling down her cheeks, turning into what looked like computer code.
"Tell me, Hajime . . ." her voice was quiet, almost a whisper, "How many lives do you have left?"
How many . . . lives?
I see . . . so she thinks this is a game, too. Interesting.
"One, I believe."
"Then, please, use it wisely and wake up."
"It's easy to do, Hajime . . . Please."
. . .
My eyes opened.
I was in a strange place.
Somewhere . . . I don't know.
"Oh? Finally awake?"
A . . . child's voice?
I saw a ceiling above me, I was laying down . . .
And then a girl with green pigtails looked down at me with a smile.
"What a big nap Mr. Izuru had today! But," she shook a finger at me, "We have work to do! And lots of it!" She then went over to the metal door, opening it, saying over her shoulder, "Meet everyone in my throne room as soon as you can, pretty please!" Then the door was slammed shut.
Someone was standing by the door other than her. I couldn't make out who it was, they were in the shadows.
Sitting myself up, I was cautious of whoever it was. I didn't know what they were here for.
Then, they walked over to the bed I was sitting on, placing hands on my shoulders. They did these motions so fast that I couldn't see their face in that amount of time.
Looking up, I saw light hair, gray eyes with swirls in them.
"Welcome back, my little Hajime! It's so nice to see you're awake!" Then he turned, clapping his hands twice, "Let's go, let's go! Time to meet the others, who are now awake from such a long, agonizing slumber!"
He held the door open for me, motioning me over to him. His clothes were different. He had on a glove, and had a chain around his neck.
"Well, come on, Hajime! Servants have to do things, too, you know!"
I felt pain in my chest. My heart was beating too fast.
No . . . This can't be happening . . .
Not Komaeda . . .
. . .
I had to force my feet to move. I headed wherever those kids with Monokuma heads led me.
Komaeda was walking behind me, his chain rattling with every step he took. The only sound besides our footsteps in this long, menacing hallway.
I wanted to grab his hand. I wanted to hold onto him. I wanted to kiss him one last time before I revert completely back. I want to hug him and let him know I still love every single fucking thing about him.
But, I can't.
Because here we are.
Standing in front of the Ultimate Despair.
All awake, all standing, as well.
Monaca sat in a throne behind them, looking pleased with herself.
"Thank you very much, my dear Servant. You have helped me in so many ways. I might consider letting you have Mr. Izuru to yourself tonight!"
I wanted to claw at my face. I wanted to rip it off. I wanted to choke myself out. I wanted to grab a rope, and hang everyone so that way they didn't need to feel anymore of this.
How . . . How did she do this? How did she make them wake up?
Was it easier, for them to just wake up as Ultimate Despair, instead of trying to cure them?
"Mr. Izuru? What's with the glum face? Aren't you happy to see your friends?"
I stayed silent. I was trying my damnedest to fight this feeling of overpowering despair.
"It would be wise to answer her, Hajime," I heard Komaeda whisper. "After all, she is Monaca. But, choose the advice however you like. Coming from me, it's probably not reliable, anyways."
"Mr. Izuru?" She drew out the name. I heard her tone get angrier.
Then she stood up from the throne, stomping her feet. "You! Need! To! Answer! Monaca! Monaca wants! Everything to be! Exactly! As! Sister! Junko! Planned!"
Then she ran over to me, kicking me. I didn't feel the pain.
The others stood there, like statues, waiting for their orders like dogs.
She went and kicked the back of my leg, making me fall, hands first onto the ground. Then the kicks went towards my stomach. Eventually I felt them on my back. My legs. My arms. The Monokuma kids joined her. My friends stayed put, watching it happen.
Though I grunted with pain, I still didn't feel anything.
Whenever the kicking stopped, Monaca had ordered Komaeda to drag me back to the room I was in, and told him to sexually harass me.
"I've seen what you two little gay lovebirds have done! Go on and have another episode, I'll leave you two be! Do your worst, my little Servant! I know you won't fail me!"
I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if he would actually do that to me.
But whenever he grabbed my collar, starting me off towards the room I was in, I felt that little hope that he wouldn't do that fade away.
He was laughing. His erratic, hysterical laughter.
He sloppily threw my body onto the bed.
Then I heard the metal door shut. Then be locked. I was motionless. I couldn't move. I was too paralyzed with thoughts of the unknown, and with plain fear.
I saw his eyes. They were looking at mine. He came over to the side of the bed, kneeling down in front of it, looking at me.
"Oh, Hajime . . . how unfortunate for you to be locked in a room with some piece of trash like me."
"However, I do not plan to fulfill my sexual desires. Even that does not reach as lowly as I do in the scale of things."
I saw his smirk on his face, the swirls in his eyes. The Komaeda I once knew was gone. Forgotten without a trace.
"But, I must say," his hand went to my side, massaging me, "You have always tempted me." His hand went to the lining of my pants, I felt the button pop loose. I felt the zipper pull down. The buttons of my shirt, one by one, being unbuttoned. The tie unknotted. Shoes off, socks off.
I continued to stare above me, at the exact spot on the ceiling I looked at whenever I first woke up here. Motionless. Thoughtless. Emotionless.
Then Komaeda climbed between my legs, placing his hands on my chest. I felt his cold chain on my bare chest, as well. His face closed onto mine, leaving only centimeters of space between both our faces. He blocked the view of the spot on the ceiling I was staring at. I had his eyes replaced with that.
"Hajime . . ." he said, giving a small smile. "It must be true. That saying, where you love someone, that feeling stays with you no matter what. Because, for some reason, I feel that I don't want to hurt you."
He has said that before . . .
Then, I saw tears forming in front of his swirling eyes.
Only then I wasn't motionless.
My hands moved to his cheeks, wiping the tears away.
And he looked shocked, so surprised at my action that I would do, regardless of the situation.
His tears fell more. Eventually he was sobbing so hard that his shoulders heaved up and down, and he clung onto me. I held him strongly back, with all the hope I could muster that he would make it out of here alive, even if I didn't.
. . .
When I awoke, Komaeda was in my arms, sound asleep.
I tightened my grip on him, wanting to stay with him for as long as I could. I brought his head to my chest, my face burying itself into his hair.
"Tell me, Hajime," I heard his muffled voice, "when will we finally be able to escape?" I wasn't expecting him to wake up.
Holding his frame back so I could look into his eyes, I saw the swirls were fading again. Good, this is good.
"Soon, Nagito. I'll make sure of it."
He sighed, sitting up on the side of the bed. Leaning down, he reached for his chain and clipped it on his neck, then pulling on his glove over his robotic hand.
Sitting up, myself, I started getting dressed.
I stood up, walking over to the door, seeing the red light on. Locked.
"Well, I guess we're stuck in here for a while," I sighed, placing my arm on the wall, me leaning my forehead on it. I felt my stomach growl.
"Please, eat me if you need to, Hajime," I heard Komaeda call out behind me.
I closed my eyes, ignoring him.
Then, I grinned, turning around to see him with his arms on his knees as he sat on the side of the bed. I kneeled down in front of him, hugging his chest.
"Komaeda," I began, feeling a lump in my throat, "If we don't make it out of here alive, I just want you to know that I . . ." I seemed to lose my voice, myself getting caught with the lump in my throat.
I placed my head more onto his chest as I was knelt in front of him, hearing his heartbeat. At least I was with him, here, instead of separated from him.