Runways

Chapter 5.1

James doesn't want to let go of Dani–not now, not ever. He's happy in this perfect little world he's created right now–outside his balcony in the middle of sticky, swelteringly hot Metro Manila, standing beside a beautiful girl he's been pining over for three long years. 

Daniella Tayao is beautiful. She always has been beautiful to him–even when she's bare and stripped off of the glamorous masks flight attendants wear. She's taken off her uniform jacket and scarf, and she's left wearing the pink and blue uniform she's donned for nearly five years of her life. It's plain and boring but James thinks otherwise. To him, Dani is exquisite and beautiful.

"May sasabihin ako sa 'yo," Dani's voice cuts through the silence and James looks at her sideways, eyebrows raised in curiosity. She stares far out into the horizon but she turns to look at him, brown eyes clear and piercing like fresh cut glass.

"Oh?" James turns to look at her, finally meeting her gaze. "Ano yun?"

"Marunong na ako mag-drive."

So random.

James grins and he purses his lips at an attempt to keep himself from laughing, shaking his head while doing so. Dani hasn't lost her wit and it's taking so much in him not to bust out in laughter right now. 

"Talaga?" 

Dani nods and she props her chin on her hand. "Pinilit ako ni Gerri mag-driving school. Para naman daw hindi na siya yung laging pupunta sa supermarket pag off namin."

"Ah. Sa susunod sasamahan kita mag-supermarket, sasakay ako habang nagd-drive ka."

"Ikaw?" She asks, bumping him lightly on the shoulder. "Wala kang kwento?"

James looks up at the sky and he tries to think of anything significant that has happened to him in the last three years of his life. There wasn't anything special–London was an amazing place to be but he never fully allowed himself to enjoy the place. Still, maybe there was something he could...

"Ah! Nakalipad na pala ako ng Vienna," he starts and he flicks his fingers on Dani's nose to get her attention. Dani slaps his hand away but she continues to stare at him, like he was the most interesting being she's ever laid her eyes on. "Nag-ikot ako dun, pero wala naman akong nakitang Vienna sausage. Yun pala, lahat ng sausage na binebenta dun, Vienna sausage ang tawag."

Dani laughs–bubbly, exuberant and full–and James couldn't help but join her. He loves her laugh. He loves hearing her cackle in delight, sometimes snort and wheeze from too much laughter. She's at her most beautiful when she's like this–carefree and happy–and he's going to try his very best to keep her this way.

James stares at her, his eyes drinking in the sight of quite possibly the only woman he'll ever love. She's changed quite a bit since the last time he saw her–maybe a little bit more mature, a little bit softer, but she was still beautiful–so, so beautiful. Dani notices him and her laughter softly dies as she ducks her head shyly, struggling to avoid his intense gaze.

"Na-miss kita," James whispers quietly and Dani turns to looks at him, lashes fluttering against flushed cheeks. 

"Hmm," she smiles, brushing her shoulders against his. "Ako din. Na-miss din kita."

"I'm sorry," James says, his voice soft and brimming with apology. Dani slips her arms around him, hands tucked in front as she moves close, face pressed against the wide expanse of his back. He wraps his hands around hers and he sighs, wondering what he did right for her to love him this way. "I'm sorry I had to leave."

"Matagal na kitang pinatawad James," she replies, her voice muffled by cotton but he can hear her loud and clear. "You–we needed the time off."

"I thought you would hate me."

"For what? For starting anew?"

James turns around in her arms, back pressed against the cold rails of his balcony. Dani looks up and he looks at her, gaze locked intently upon her eyes and he feels it–the longing, the hurt, the love, all things consuming him for the last three years he spent building himself. He lets out a breath as Dani runs her hands on his back, the warmth of her skin pulling him back down to earth.

"I was being selfish," he laments, his chest tightening with the suppressed anger he had for himself. "I had to leave, just so I could find myself. To make myself whole. I hated myself for leaving you, for leaving the only girl that I've ever loved."

It's a never ending cycle of apologies and what-ifs, she thinks, unless they both decide to talk it out. After all, wasn't that the reason why they're here right now? It's been three years of longing for both of them and Dani was sure there was nothing else they could do but grow and move forward.

Dani untangles herself from James, leaning to stand beside him on the balcony rails. She looks far out into the horizon, bright lights dotted across the sea of darkness blanketing her view of the world around her. James stands still beside her and the silence envelopes them, like a cocoon safely tucking them in.

"Galit na galit ako sa sarili ko nung umalis ka," Dani starts, forefinger pressed against James' lips, lest he interrupt her. "Wait, makinig ka muna. I knew you loved me, but I was angry at myself for letting you go."

"Hinabol kita, on the day of your flight. I ran after you," she bit her lip as she stared right back at him, the memories of that day coming back to her in clarity. "I ran through the departure hall in the hopes that I'd be able to catch up and ask you to stay, but I guess it really wasn't our time to be together. The aircraft was cleared for take-off as soon as I saw the plane from the tarmac. It really wasn't our time."

"Ang tagal ko din umiyak noon. Alam kong mahal mo ako, pero inisip ko kung sapat ba yon para bumalik ka."

"Pero hinintay mo ako," James says and she nods her affirmation.

"Hinintay kita. Kasi mahal kita."

"Naghintay din ako," James chuckles as he closed his eyes, remembering the doubt and fear he carried with him on that day. "Inintay kita sa loob nung eroplano. Ang stupid nga eh, bakit ka nga naman susunod, ni hindi mo nga alam kung ano yung flight ko." He rolls his eyes, snorting at his then stupidity. "Sabi ko, ang tanga tanga mo James, umasa ka pang hahabulin ka, ikaw na nga 'tong umalis."

His hand finds purchase around her waist and he pulls her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He sighed.

" I never stopped thinking about you, Dani. Every day, every time I had to fly."

Dani smiled as she pressed herself closer to his warmth, a lone question falling from her lips.

"Why didn't you come home?"

James shrugged. "I wasn't whole yet. I wanted to fix the broken pieces before I come home."

"I'm glad you're back," she wrapped her arms around him, head tucked comfortably under his chin. "Here, with me."

"You are my home, Dani. You are my home."