Hello, fellow humans.
Sorry, I completely disappeared from wattpad. I'm in my last year of high school so things have been a little crazy.
I have a lot of choices to make and my grades are not being completely helpful but this diary thing is not about that so yeah moving on.
I've finally found someone at my school, who frequently talks to me, that uses male pronouns when talking to me which is very helpful. Especially these last few weeks. I've been feeling really dysphoric, and I'm starting to think I might be trans. I don't see anything wrong with that except it scares me shitless.
If I'm actually trans, which I hope I'm not and this wave of dysphoria passes, to feel completely comfortable in my body, I'll need to take T. And the fact that I absolutely hate needles doesn't help... The surgeries scare me a lot too. Even though I have dreamt of a flat chest since the time someone told me it would grow...
I wish I knew a ftm post-op to know just how bad it is until you feel like yourself.
This has just been a quick update, so that anyone who read the last chapter doesn't worry. I'm feeling better since that time. I try to ignore my body now. I never look down if I'm not wearing a shirt and my sports bra is always on me unless I'm sleeping, and showering only with the lights off.
Anyway, hope you all feel a little better than me.
Happy Easter if you celebrate it, if not just enjoy the Spring break! (or whatever it's called in America)
YOU ARE READING
In The Mind Of A Genderfluid
SaggisticaSome thoughts I have, most of them related with gender but I might speak about sexual orientation too
