With Her

Anger.

I am sorry I haven't posted lately I have been figuring out how I wanted the next parts to go but I promise i will begin to post more. We've got some nice plot twists ahead to stay tuned! I love you!
(Trigger warning a bit farther down)
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Sometimes I wonder if when the sadness fades if I will too, because it feels like it's the only thing I've ever been. I wished growing up that I could've made more of an impact on the lives around me, but at the same time, everyone in my life had never shown me more than a seconds care.

I really wish that I could still be positive after everything I've experienced but I feel as if every day I just begin to get more and more angry. Me snapping and beating that girl up the other day just proves that. I don't really know how much more I can take until I snap and I am afraid of what will happen when I do...

                           °×°×°×°

I woke up with a body slamming down onto me and waves of panic began to course through me. I didn't know what was going on since my lights were still off so I immediately started flailing trying to defend myself.

"Dude holy fuck wait a second its just me Sam!" She yelled.

"You gave me a fucking heart attack and a goddamn half dude! How the hell did you even get in!"

She laughed, "Your dad let me in. He's actually pretty nice even though he let a complete stranger in. Who knows I could've been a rapist and he would've nevveeerr known."

"He's probably just surprised someone actually knows of my existence."

She cocked her head, "What do you mean? And don't give me a bullshit excuse about it being nothing because you're lying."

Well fuck. I didn't really know how to respond to that.

"I just never have friends that come to my house and see me. I don't really actually have friends at all."

She looked confused, "Why not?"

"Besides you, people don't really like me. This may sound lame but your my first friend."

I turned away sheepishly. She probably thought I was the biggest loser ever.

"Why not though? Your 17, you can't tell me not even one person talked to you."

I sighed, "I've moved around for a lot of my life. My parents split so my dad just moved me along with his job because my mom didn't want me. No one wants to be friends with the new weird kid."

Hopefully she wouldn't hate me for the sob story that is my life.

She looked sullen, "Does that mean your moving again?"

That was not the sentence I was expecting, "Apparently not, I guess my dad found a new girlfriend. I met her last night, he also found a steady job so I think we are staying."

She beamed at that, "Okay you scared me for a second."

I looked at the clock and it was already 9 o'clock.

"Holy shit we're late for school!" I jumped up and without thinking about it I started changing for school right in the middle of my room.

As I took my shirt off I remembered that Sam was still here. I grabbed the first blanket i could find and threw it over my entire body.

I just sat on the floor, "I fucking fail at life."

Sam laughed, "You know it's Saturday right?"

"You just further proved my point."

Her voice was muffled through the tick blanket still over me, "Why are you covering yourself?"

"Because I took my shirt off before I remembered that you were in here and I got scared."

I peeked my eyes out of the top of the blanket.

Sam laughed, "Were both girls its not like I haven't seen a chest before Ry, you don't have to be scared."

I stood up with the blanket around me, "That may be easy for you to say but I am a gross human being and I will not subject your eyes to my grossness."

Or all your hideous scars, I thought. I averted my eyes, as if she could hear my thoughts from a mile away.
She stood up and started walking towards me.

"What are y-you doing?" I asked nervously.

"Ryin, have you ever kissed anyone?"
I turned into a damn tomatoe, "Well, no but I just never really wanted anyone. They were all just strangers or bull-"

Before I even finished my sentence she kissed me.

I am having my first kiss, holy shit.
Her lips were soft, just like the kiss. I began to melt into her and before I realized it, the blanket fell. She looked down and immediately her hands covered her mouth.

I wrapped my arms around the scars arraying my stomach and arms. I was totally fucked.

I grabbed the blanket and pulled it around me.

"Sam..."

*Sam's P.O.V*

"Ryin, what did you do to yourself?"

She looked down at her hands and just shrugged, "I don't know. Sometimes I just shut everything out when it all gets bad."

What the fuck. She had deep cuts all over her stomach and sides. Her arm had ones ranging from faded and pink to fresh, probably from the other day.

"When did you do this?" I asked grabbing her still healing arm.

She walked over to her phone and started looking through it.

"Remember the other night when I was getting all of those texts?" She asked.

"Yes?" I answered curiously.

She sighed, "Well it was a couple kids from my old school. They found my new number."

All of the texts I saw were rude and degrading. Some were even threats to kill her, or asking her to kill herself.

"Who the fuck are these people!"
I was fucking furious.

Who in their right fucking mind would tell someone that? To hear she has gotten harassment like this her whole life, I wouldn't blame her if she was sketchy with people. She had every right to be.

"I don't know, it doesn't matter anyways. That's definitely not the first or last time I've heard any of it. Every once in awhile someone from an old school will get my number or ends up having friends at my new school and fucks shit up for me there. Nothing new."

I didn't know whether to cry or hug her for trying to be strong about this. You could see the look in her eyes that she was shutting down again. There was no way I was leaving her by herself today.

"You wanna go do something? In town?" I asked.

"Can we just watch some movies today? At home? I don't really feel like socializing at the moment."

I smiled, she was so awkward I couldn't help but like her.

"Yes we can," I said happily.
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