I was an ordinary guy, living an ordinary life. Nothing special. But then I met an out of this world being who changed my life. He told me that I was special and suddenly my not-so-interesting world got a heck ton more interesting. I was introduced to a new world where I made new friends. My purpose was suddenly clear. I always had a strong moral standing. I wanted to do something that made a difference. So I battled monsters and fought the evil Moustache McDouche to save the Princess Stori Tuul and bring balanc....
"Damn are these ads irritating", Heor said as he muted his TV and returned to his phone call, "What was I saying? Oh yeah, so in the gaming community you're considered a man only if you insult your opponent's genitilia. Am I the only one who finds this super ironic?"
The room was dark. The only source of light was the TV screen. Heor was sitting on a couch, with a joystick in one hand and his phone in the other. Empty cans of beer lay in front of him. Clothes were scattered around the room just as a stripper's clothes are after a show. One could smell something different every time they took a step. Various chips lay on the floor. Some of them had just completed a month of lying there.
"If a thief stepped on it, I'd be alerted", Heor defended every time someone brought that up.
"The only people who are going to enter this house are Biologists to study various forms of decay and bacteria and Paramedics to collect your body. I'm not too sure about the latter one though", Oby, the person Heor was talking to on the phone, had said when he first saw Heor's house.
Why was the room so stereotypically messed up like any another twenty four year old's house? It was Friday Night, atleast that's what Heor's excuse was this time.
He noticed that his game finally loaded, and so unmuted the TV and put his phone on speaker. "I also don't get how- oh wait a minute, this maybe her" Heor muttered as he saw his phone's notification light blinking. He paused the game and grabbed his phone to check it out.
"Eh, I'm serious about who?" Heor questioned something Oby said, as he opened his texting app, "Oh right that stupid logic. I paused so I could finish this other task asap, and resume the game in peace. I pause a game when I go to the loo too; doesn't I'm serious about the toilet seat or sh...- WOOHOO She said YES! Damn!"
"Oh right, I'll return to the game in a just moment; don't want people talking about my genitilia" Heor said as he hastily sent Glir his suggestions for the date. Heor stretched out and laid down on his sofa. He kept his phone on a table in front of him and went back to his game.
"Oh dude, I finally found this place which makes vegan pizzas. I ordered one and it will be arriving soon. Can't wait"
"What? NO! I'm not a veg..MY GOD. NO. My doctor told me to lay off dairy for awhile since I was getting sick everytime I was having milk", Heor exclaimed in reply to a remark his Caller made.
"Nooo Oby, I'm sure no one spiked my drink. Yeaaah, I don't experience blackouts or have any pain near my ana...jeez you're picking up gaming conventions pretty fast."
Heor felt his throat drying up. "Ahhh, all this talking is making me thirsty."
"Wow, really didn't think of that. Thank you, dumbass"
"Well, it's far away, that's wh...- oh you know what? I should go and get my water after all, and no, the fact that I accidentally killed our team leader has nothing to do with this. But yeah, do tell him that it was an accident."
Just as he quit the game, he noticed his phone's blinking light. Glir had confirmed the plan. With a grin on his face, Heor made his way to the Kitchen.
Everything seems to be in order. Everything is perfec...
"What did they say? No, I don't wear fishnets and give pleasure to gay men on weekends. Wait, who told you that? Oh him? Yeah, didn't I just shoot him accidentall..oh I think I found out why stories of my weekend endeavours are being spread." Heor replied as Oby abruptly broke his chain of thought.
Okay fine, maybe not completely perfect. But still pretty damn good.
And so he said the words that shouldn't ever be uttered.
"Damn, my life's going perfectly. I hope that nothing goes wrong"
He stopped dead in his tracks.
Little did he know that he was soon gonna be in a world of pain.
WHAT DID OUR HERO I MEAN HEOR SEE THAT MADE HIM STOP IN HIS TRACKS?!
A. He noticed leather boots covered sticking out of his curtains.
B. Writer got bored to continue so pointlessly threw in a cliffhanger which will get easily resolved by the next chapte...I mean Heor got a cramp.
C. He saw a dog b-boying on the footpath through his window.
D. Out of ide...I mean, All of the above.
Send your votes now at IdontworkIamaprince@gmail.com with the code "Go kill yourself"
YOU ARE READING
All I wanted was a glass of water
HumorAlways wanted to hear a story where the main hero's sole motivation was to parch his thirst? Well, now you can. Read this story to find out why the description hardly has any story points. Was the author just too lazy? Or does he have a severe case...
