Sweet Aftertaste (Shawn Mendes)

Chapter 10

Addi,

I suppose if you read these in order, you'll have had enough of our memories so instead I'm just going to tell you that I love you and I always have and I hope that I always will. I hope that in the future you will remember everything about us and want to make more memories with me whether it be as friends or more. I just hope that you don't let your memory loss get in the way of us and what we've always had just because your building something new. 

Please don't forget me, I couldn't live without you.

Tom xx

Addi's P.O.V

I find myself hobbling out of the kitchen without giving Tom a chance to reply, I don't want to listen to him - I'm only craving Shawn. I wait until I hear the back door shut before going back into the living room, giving myself a minute to regain my composure. Shawn opens his mouth to speak as I sit down next to him, but this time it's me that stops the words coming by kissing him. He tenses slightly in surprise but in a few seconds one of his hands is in my hair and the other is gently bringing me closer to him. We stay like this for what feels like hours, the film credits beginning to play in the background, before a loud beeping noise awakens me from something that has been my dream for so many years.

Shawn picks up his phone and glances at it before putting it away. It beeps again and I raise my eyebrows, "Should you be getting that?"

"Nothing's more important than you and your memories to me right now," He smiles before pushing a loose piece of hair back from my face. I inadvertently bite my lip as an electric feeling dnaces across the skin his hand brushed. I think that I see him smirk slightly but he turns towards the TV, "Should I put the next film on?"

"Just leave it," I find myself replying, "It's not like we were watching it anyway."

"I was hoping you'd say that," His tone is light.

"Why, do you find the films boring?"

Shawn turns to face me, amusement playing across his face, "I find you much more interesting."

The thought is so ridiculous that I bite my lip again to stop myself from bursting out laughing and probably spitting on Shawn in the process. The sofa creaks slightly as Shawn returns to his seat and he turns to face me again. Thoughts of Tom run through my head and how unfair this is towards him, yet I let Shawn kiss me again, I let Shawn run his fingers under the fabric of my clothes and I let him make me feel the way I once felt with Tom but I don't only let him, I want him to. I want to forget about all the previous occurrences surrounding my Dad, Tom and me so I use Shawn as my gateway to oblivion.

However, my ever lasting hunger kicks in and I suggest making tea.  Shawn laughs and agrees so we make our way into the kitchen. Shawn suggests making pasta and begins preparing some vegetables for the sauce while I do all the actual cooking.

Shawn looks up from the onion and I smile at his watery eyes, "Is your bathroom upstairs?" he asks.

"Yeah, second door on the right," I reply. Shawn nods before exiting, leaving me to carry on with the pasta. I hear a familiar ping as he starts to go up the stairs. Should I look at it? No, that would be invading his privacy and God knows we all need some. I find my eyes glancing at his phone and my hands itching to pick it up. 

I look around quickly, despite knowing I'm alone, and pick his phone up. I tap the home button and the screen lights up. I glance at the name and realise it's only a text from his mum before the phone buzzes in my hands and a second message comes up, this one from someone called Lizzie. I read the text and a flood of disappointment mixed with annoyances rushes around my body, drowning my feelings of happiness and excitement.

Lizzie

I've convinced my parents tht they cn actually trust me and my sis home alone for 1 night, so Alex is going out. Was wondering if you still wanted to come around? Btw don't bother bringing ault, I've got evrything we nd ;)

I carefully replace Shawn's phone on the work surface and try to sort through my thoughts. I first of all laugh to myself at the desperation in this obviously carefully planned text that has probably been checked over by all of this Lizzie's friends and then move on to deciding my course of action, should I pretend I don't know or should I bring it out?

I hear footsteps on the stairs again and quickly turn around to continue with the pasta. I sense rather than hear Shawn return to the kitchen. I jump slightly as his cool fingers tickle the back of my neck as they push my hair aside. I turn around and jump back as his lips brush mine, "Are you ok?" he asks, a frown on his face.

"Yeah, sorry," I apologise, "I think I heard your phone beep."

I watch his face carefully as he replies to the texts on his phone, but his facial expressions barely change. 

Finally, we sit down to eat pasta and a sharp shooting pain flashes across my eyebrow. I remember sitting across from Shawn eating pasta that looked really similar to this, I remember rushing out of the house but I don't remember why. I look down quickly at my pasta as I notice Shawn looking at me intently. We eat in broken conversation and I'm glad when I get the opportunity to clear away.

"My mum wants me back overnight, so is it ok if I leave you?" Shawn asks, his brown eyes flitting away from mine when I try to look at him. 

"Yeah, if your mum wants to see you," I smile at his confusion inwardly before grabbing his coat, "See you soon."

I almost push him out of the house and he turns just before leaving, "Addi, I just want you to know..."

"What?" I snap impatiently, I just want him to leave so I can sort my emotions out and my relationship with Tom.

"I hope you get your memories back," He says quickly before leaving. I refrain from slamming the door and hop back over to the sofa, which I sink in to and begin to cry.