Fade To White - Sequel to Fade To Black

A Test Of Love

George steadied the nail for me as i aimed for the face of it with my hammer, smashing it into the wood. He was careful not to exert himself, holding his wounded side ever so often. But i had to admit, he could endure a lot. While we worked on the boarding house frame and roof George and i got to talking.

"So... what's it like living in the South?" George asked me. I looked at him with a crooked smile- he was too naïve.

"Well, it's hot for one. The cicadas are everywhere, and there's not one day when someone isn't shot, or hung. It's a wild place." I was exaggerating a bit but the look on his face amused me.

"Wild?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

"What's it like in the war?" I asked in return.

"The war? Well... It's like this. We all say we are fighting for a just cause but in no way is it just. Even if the president passes the bill it will still take a few years for the slaves to be irrevocably free. Thousands of men are dying around you and all you can think about is your sister and your mother because you know that somewhere on the battle-field your own brother or father is lying there, dead." His eyes turned dark and brooding and he clutched at his side in pain again.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, gripping his shoulder tightly.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He said, standing up straight again and holding another nail steady. I looked at him once more before deciding i wouldn't ask anymore. We made good progress, the dark night our signal to go and resign for the day. I took of the leather work gloves Clemy had made for me and slipped my shoes off by the door. George followed suit as i walked into the kitchen, meeting my family at the dinner table.

George sat next to Clementine, which made me slightly uncomfortable. She was still not speaking to me and i had slept in another room last night. I had to remind myself that i had to show her i was sorry, and that i didn't mean what i said. I guess trust didn't count anymore.

"How's the building going?" Clementine asked.

"Good."

"Good."

I looked at George who looked at me and then continued talking as Clementine leaned toward him, interested. I put food in my mouth, pretending as if i didn't mind that he interrupted me. Remember Jackson, you have to show her , i thought.

That night i couldn't give Clemy anymore space than she already had so i snuck back in the bed, slipping under the covers. I felt her body stiffen as she felt me under the covers. "Jackson?" She murmured, turning over to face me. 

"Clementine..." I hesitated, not sure if she wanted me there. We both looked at each other in the dark, not saying a word when suddenly she sat up and lit the lamp. I looked at her, surprised. 

"Jackson, we need to talk." Clemy said, sighing. 

"I know." Clementine looked at me grimly as if she had bad news to tell me. My heart suddenly beat fast, scared of the words that would escape from her lips. "Do you still love me?" I asked  and she gasped then, getting out of bed and pacing the room. 

"How could you- of COURSE i love you Jack! Why would you even doubt that!?" 

"Things have changed... you know that things have changed." I looked down, not able to meet her eyes. It was chillingly quiet and then i heard Clemy cry out  and run into my arms, burying her face in my chest. I could feel her sobs and i felt horrified. What had i done? 

"Jackson, i still love you, but you're right, something has changed... I tried to ignore it but now i just can't hold it in any longer. What happened to us?" She looked at me with sparkling eyes and i felt myself break. 

"I don't know. It's like there's this invisible wall between us and i can't break through to you. Everything i do is wrong and my family is unhappy and-"

"Jackson!" Clemy shouted. "We are happy! It's just... we could be happier. Let the children have some freedom. Let them grow up! We can't be held here like captives. Sometimes i feel as if you're embarrassed."

"Embarrassed? Why would you ever think that? I've tried to be more lenient but i just worry about you all so much!" I grabbed her by her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. It felt as if what i was saying was soaking in but she looked away from me again. 

There was a loud knock on the door and we both froze. "Yes?" Clementine asked. 

"Is everything alright?" George asked, his voice muffled. I became angry then, an outsider intruding on a moment that should not have been interrupted. Clemy crossed the room and opened the door slightly, allowing George to see that everything was fine. "nothing to worry about." She said, forcing a smile. 

"I just heard a lot of yelling all the way from downstairs. I wasn't sure if that was normal round here..." That was it. I met him at the door, raging. 

"What are you implying? What would you possibly know about normalcy in my family?" I clenched my fist and found myself trying to push him out of the door frame. 

"Jackson! Calm down, he did 't mean anything by it!" She grabbed my wrist tightly, pulling me back. 

"I didn't mean to intrude Clementine. I apolgize. i hope you'll forgive me." George said in his most gentlemanly way. 

"The hell she will!" I growled. 

"Of course. Now go and rest, everything is fine now." She ushered him down the stairs and i climbed back into bed fuming. Clemy came back in and scowled at me, watching me pout.

"Must you throw a fit?" She asked.

"Why is he even here? He's healed now, ain't he, so he can leave, right?" 

"Jackson, just quit it! Why do you behave like this. You never behaved like this when-"

"What. When i was twelve, or eighteen or twenty? Of course i've changed Clementine, i'm nearly thirty. Im not the little boy you fell in love with." Clemy looked at me one more time before turning round a slamming the bedroom door behind her, leaving me feeling like a fool for even saying anything.