Red ✔

It Depends

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I am concious. My eyes are shut tight.  They are weighing down my eyelids, so I not able to open them.  Honestly, I do not want to. A groan slips from my lips unintentionally. My head is throbbing. So are my legs.  It feels numb. As they touch the bed I am on, it has a tingly sensation to it.  I know I am touching it, but I do not really feel it properly.  This numbness makes me feel exhausted.  

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

That sound is driving me nuts. I am pretending to sleep, so I will not have to come back to reality of my horrid life as I know it. I might as well live the rest of my life on this bed. Wait, how did I get on this bed? Where is that beeping sound coming from? I do not remember there being a beeping sound in my bedroom. I was there like twenty minutes ago. I cannot remember what happened to me. I faintly remember Holly telling me that my best friends were not my best friends, but I cannot exactly get everything.  I recall a bright light and loads of screaming of children. In a bus...? I am not sure anymore.  Everything of my different life is becoming a figment of my imagination.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Someone walks into the room. I breathe softly, seeming as though I am sleeping. The person is fishing his/her hands for a short moment and picks up an item. It makes a thunk noise. I slowly open my eyes to peep at the person, who is in this mystery room.

The room is almost all white.  This environment makes me realize that I am in a hospital room.  It does explain the banging on my head and leg.  I have blue sheets on top of my body. My wrist has a few scrapes around the top of it. A band is wrapped around my wrist, on the same arm as my bangle. It displays my name, healthcare number, phone, number, and a lot more information.  A metal wire with tape on it is stuck on my chest.  It tinkles but I ignore it. A white cast is wrapped around my ankle area.  I wriggle my toes, beginning to feel them again, as I am observing the rest of the room. Plain, white curtains cover the sight of the outside world. The chairs are white, too.  The door is wide open for anyone to enter.  It does not seem safe, but what type of sick person would take a...sick person? White curtains with small blue spots are shielding in front of the other patients in this hospital room.  The heart rate monitor is setting on a white tabele. The colour of the heart rate lines are green, while the background colour is black.  There a different words and number that I do not bother taking another look.  A tray of a pudding cup and plastic spoon is on a white cart that is leveled at the height the bed.   

The surroundings and objects seem more real, in a sense that dreadful life before was not my actual reality.  That other reality was just a dream. I can tell the difference now because my environment is clearer and I am able to think appropriately.  In dream, it constrains you to a minimum amount of memory and thoughts. Dreams make you think about how you even got there in the first place.  In dreams, you pop into a world without awareness. It is an extremely confusing concept.  I do not think my throbbing head can take so much information at the moment.

I am relieved that my horrid dream was not real.  I mean, Holly and I being Victoria's friends. I shiver at the image appearing in my head. 

If that is the case, Clive has said he did not love me in Madison Park, or more outside of it. My heart is burning alive.  It is still fractured from the previous experience of him rejecting me and not kissing me and telling me he does not love me anymore.  I love Clive, no matter if he says he does not. I do, I truly do.

“Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?” a lady in a white outfit asks sweetly.

I swallow. She is a complete stranger.  I am for sure not in my house, unless I dreamed my whole life, again.