Fight For Something (SEQUEL to And I Disappear Behind The Beat)

Chapter Two - Operation: Girls

I bust through the door to my room and began to search for anything that could potentially draw blood from my wrists. How could this happen? Everything I said to Andy in that letter was loving. I told her I love her, that everything was for her. How could she just disregard all of that? Is she not who I thought she was? But I heard her.. I heard her say she would wait for me. Yeah, some waiting she did.

As I ransacked my room looking for it, throwing books, papers and clothes everywhere. My vision blurred from the tears, but then I found it. I found the only blade my parents didn't take from me before they shipped me off to rehab. I examined the shiny, silver weapon I held between my fingers. This small little piece of metal could do so much damage, if I try hard enough. This is it. I'm going to relapse.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and placed the cool metal against my skin but adding no pressure. Just sitting there feeling the cool metal adjust to the heat of my body. Tears began to stream down my cheeks. I don't want to do this, but it is the only way I can forget about the world for a couple minutes and just focus on the blood running down my wrists. Maybe I deserve this, though? I mean, I put Andy through hell. I do deserve this.

.oO Sara's POV Oo.

I was sitting on the couch watching TV when Josh came flying through the front door, cursing under his breath. His hair was a mess, his his clothes were messed, and he looked like he'd been crying.

"Hey bud, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." He snapped, then disappeared downstairs to his room.

Sheesh, what's eating him? I continued to watch Fresh Prince in the living room, until I Heard noises from Josh's room. Fuck, it sounds like he's bowling down there.

"Josh, you okay in there?" It was silent on the other side of the door. When I opened it I wasn't ready for what I saw on the other side.

It was my baby brother, with tears streaming down his face, and a blade to his wrist. He looked up at me with so much sadness and heartache in his eyes.

I walked over and sat on the bed next to my little brother. "Please, don't do it.." I whispered as I wrapped my arm around his shoulders.

He just continued to cry..

I just sat there and held him as he cried. I've never seen my brother like this. Yes, I've seen him upset, but never like this. I sat there with Josh for what felt like hours, until he broke the silence.

"She's with Mike.." The words were so faint I could barely make them out.

"What do you mean?" I ask while rubbing his back.

"Andy.. She's dating Mike." He choked.

"Who's Mike?"

"Our new bassist." Oh.

"Oh Josh, I'm so sorry.." I hugged him. "But if you don't mind me asking, when did you two break up? I don't remember that ever happening."

"Yeah, me neither.." I looked at him confused. What is this kid talking about?

He continued "Do you want me to explain?" I nodded.

"Well I'll explain what I know. The last time I saw her before rehab she told me she'd wait for me, so she loved me then. And remember that letter I gave her? Well, like you already know she never called after I gave it to her. So if we never spoke that means we never broke up. Then I come back from fucking rehab and she with some new guy? I don't know what going on and all this confusion is making my head hurt!" Well that's confusing.

"It's okay, Josh. Everything will find a way to work its way out, I promise." I tried to comfort him.

"I just want her back.." He wiped a tear from his face.