Breathe (Haise Sasaki X Reader)

Chapter 10

   Another month has passed, yet I haven't heard from Haise. I don't really have any other idea for a reason behind his absence other than his job. He could have been relocated or something else. After all, I don't really know him.

  "Hey, (L/N)." I looked up, my eyes meeting Ayato's. He propped his head up with his hand, leaning a bit on his side as he pointed to a problem in his notebook. Hinami continued writing in hers, looking up at us from time to time with a smile on her face. We were doing some work during lunch, just trying to get it out of the way. Ayato stared at me again, noticing that I haven't been listening. "Hey!" He tapped my forehead with the back of his pencil. I looked away, frowning for a moment before mumbling the answer. 

  Lately, I've been feeling like I wasn't even here, like everything is but a simple dream, and I can't wake up... My surroundings are almost surreal, hazy even. With each moment I spend with Ayato and Hinami, I expect to wake up the next day and no longer see them. As if none of this was real. I haven't been feeling anything as of late; except this morning. My anxiety has been rising from the very moment I woke up. I had woken up two hours prior to my alarm clock, not being able to fall back asleep. I just stayed there, awake while staring at my ceiling. I had been curled up into a ball, beneath my blankets with an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to go outside, I didn't want to go to school today, I didn't want to do anything. I had tears building up in my eyes, but I never cried. I simply forced myself to get up, and went about my daily routine. 

  I've been having constant nightmares since leaving the hospital, causing me to wake up with sweat dripping down my forehead, yet I could never remember what it was about. Anything from the previous few months were beginning to become a blur. I can barely remember anything now. I remember my doctor sending me a psychiatrist while I stayed in the hospital, but there wasn't anything to talk about. I was just told to contact them if anything ever came up, so I've been left alone with their business card. The first week at the hospital was especially hazy, I could only remember the second, where the doctor seemed relieved for some reason.

   Waking up each day, never feels real. 

  A hand took a hold of my own, causing me to tense up and look at its owner. I relaxed as I met their eyes, a smile on their face.

  "(Y/N)-Chan, is everything alright?" Hinami gave my hand a squeeze. "Are you tired again?" Ayato continued staring at me for a while, thinking.

  "I know that we don't have to go to the art club tomorrow, so do you wanna go to the bookstore instead?" He turned to Hinami. "You said that you're free tomorrow, right, Hina?" She nodded. 

  "Yeah, I don't need to see my therapist tomorrow, so I should be free after school." I clenched my jaw; the unsettling feeling in my stomach grew. I've been waiting this entire day, wanting to see what it was that caused this. I'm becoming impatient. I just wanted to get it over with so I don't have to keep feeling this.

  "(Y/N)-Chan!" I tensed up as I heard a familiar voice. As I looked up, I saw an old friend from the previous year. She waved at me, motioning for me to come over. I stood up from my seat, excusing myself as I walked over to her. She took me into the hallway. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

  "Yeah, Yuki-Chan." She smiled at me. 

  "I can't believe that I'm a senior now! What happened to you? How could you have let yourself be held back?" I don't know that myself.

  "I got careless, it was my own fault." She shrugged.

  "I guess this means you can't help me out anymore, huh?" This again... "Oh, but maybe I can lend you my notes and you tutor me? It'll be just like the good old times! I mean, it can do us both good." No it won't. "I get help with studying, and you know how to do the work for senior year, that is if you pass this time!" She laughed. This is the only reason on why you're talking to me, isn't it?