Kiera,
You're holding this letter, except it isn't just simply a letter. Instead it's a declaration of trust. The trust that had existed between you and me. Until... Until... Until people told me. Told me things that I shouldn't have had to hear. Words have consequences too. But they don't know that do they? All they're interested in is how many followers they have on Instagram, how many virtual friends they've got. And they don't care how they get them. So long as they have more than their real friends. So there is no room for people like me and you in their lives. Who would want to be mixed up in their lives?
I wouldn't have thought that you were would be one of those. You were kind, caring to everyone; even to me. Honestly though I can't think why I deserved your kindness though, and I guess I will never know. But then you changed for the worst. You became distant and reluctant to talk to me, just me. No-one else. If anything you became closer to them and further from me. Why? I guess I will never know. And then people told me.
They told me that your kindness was faked. They told me that I couldn't be your friend, that I didn't deserve to have you as a friend. I thought that you were simply going through a phase. I thought that it would last a couple of weeks at most. Still you were reluctant to talk to me, to be close to me. You moved away when I passed by. I took it as a sign that you didn't want me to be around anymore. So I won't be.
The things that people told me about you carried developed, spiralled. She's too good for you. Leave her alone, she doesn't want to be around you. And then instead of attacking my "friendship" with you, they attacked me. Have you got a girlfriend yet?
Oh that's right no-one would want to be your girlfriend.
Know why?
Course you don't.
No-one wants to be your girlfriend because you don't deserve a girlfriend.
And then they got worse.
They started calling me gay. Telling me that I'm a hopeless thing that will never aspire to anything. When I die there will be no-one at my funeral. No-one cares about you, least of all her. All she wants you to do is FUCK OFF. But you can't understand that can you? Because you're needy aren't you, always putting yourself ahead of others. So long as you get what you want that's fine. She doesn't think that. All she wants is you to stop being around. She doesn't want your friendship anymore.
I refused to believe it at first, thinking to myself that you do care and you do want my friendship. Do you? I guess I will never know. Of course you wouldn't know what it is like to be affected by spiteful comments from others. You wouldn't know because you're successful: boyfriend, lead part in the musical, friends pouring out of the cracks. People want to make sure that you are happy; they care for you. They don't care for me.
I wouldn't bother trying to excuse yourself because even if it seemed ridiculous at first, I know it to be true.
This letter is my way of explaining to you that even though I was told that you no longer wanted to be my friend, to know me, that I tried to save our friendship, to keep it strong. But you didn't want our friendship to last and it didn't.
This letter has another purpose: to tell you that words have consequences. You caused this consequence.
Jacob
