Wattpad Blunders!

Round Two

#1 the Cliché

I am so sick of this. I want to read a story where I don't know what's going to happen next! I'm going to split this into categories otherwise it's going to be difficult

The Romance- This category is the most clichéd I'm afraid. Once upon a time I was in love with Romances but thanks to Wattpad it's no longer the case... (NO OFFENCE.) It seems no one on here can write something that is not cliché when it comes to romances. I can all see you hating on me at this precise minute saying that I'm generalising over the few that I have read but let me tell you something... Shut up. I have read a lot and I can count on one hand how many of Wattpad's Romances are not cliché.

This is always what seems to happen:

Scenario 1- He's the massive jock who is a total player but all the girls love him regardless. Here comes little miss plain who has hardly any friends and does amazing at school. Something causes the two to cross paths (and it's always predictable- the class project being the most popular) and they somehow grow to love each other. When everything is all good, some bimbo comes and tries to jeopardise it all (she's usually blonde, a cheerleader, the ex of the guy or really hates the girl- it's usually all of the above). Anywhore, the jock and the boring girl have an argument because of the bimbo but guess what? They sort it out and live happily ever after...

Let me tell you something people; things like this don’t happen and by writing things like this you're giving people false hope. I've had to work with guys on projects and we've never fallen in love so stop implanting it in our minds.

Scenario 2- Two people who hate each other with a passion are, again, forced to work with each other on a project or something like that. Somehow through the course of time they fall in love and the rest is history..

Again, this doesn't happen. I've had to work with people I hate and guess what? I still hate them but that's just me...

There would be a scenario 3 but this is generally what Romances focus around... This also goes for the LGBT's but I will have a separate one for them. Don't you all go crazy on me for that! This is my rant and I will do as I wish.

Moving on... Now onto the Vampire/Werewolf peoples...

I really should have put this with the Romance but I can't be bothered now... Anywhore, to be frank I hate these types but I'm still going to write about them. They all go the same way (I'm speaking Wattpad wise) I have noticed... there's always some old vampire dude who's a 'teenager' who is trying to live a normal life but keeps himself secluded from the rest of the school (way to keep your cover). There's always a new girl that comes and takes an interest to the secluded weirdo (like you do). They start bonding and he's like' No you should keep away from me, I'm a monster' but she's all like ' even though I've known you for a week I already love you regardless of the little information I know about you...'

Anywhore, they fall in love after he tells her that he's a vamp and she's like ' I don't care that you're dead and old... I only love you'... Anyway it's all honkey dory until the werewolf comes and is all like 'stay away from her you blood sucker' because, obviously, vampires and werewolves don't get on. Even though the werewolf is obviously hotter, the girl goes for the dead guy who will proceed to bite her and send her to eternal damnation! How smart...

It's all stupid... When will someone write a story where the werewolf wins the girl? They're obviously manlier! They don't sparkle and they're warm!

I'm sorry guys, I don't really know what happens in many genres, if I don't mention the genres then they're obviously doing a good job at straying from clichés...

Most humours are never actually humorous. They never make me laugh and I laugh at everything. I think most Wattpaders thing that writing 'OMG! She just fell of the table and we all laughed because she's so crazy' should class as comical. No! It's stupid. 

Last but certainly not least: (because this is my favourite genre) BoyxBoy/ Slash fiction. (I know I said I was going to go LGBT but I only read BoyxBoy and once I read a GxG). As much as I love BoyxBoy, and oh lord I do, when you've read one you've read them all.

They all tend to follow this pattern:

Scenario1. I'm in love with my best friend but he's straight... Wait a minute no he's not, he's gay and loves me too and now we are together and doing the dirty...

This is unrealistic and it's also like that with boyxgirl stories but I forgot to add it on so let’s just pretend I have...

Scenario 2. I'm a jock who’s gay but I can't tell anyone I'm gay because my parents are strong Catholic Christians and they will hate me and my friends will too but I'm in love with that quite gay boy that my friends and I regularly beat up for being gay. Oh dear we have to work together on a project, we've kissed, I’ve put out my feelings to him, we date in secret, he breaks up with me because I'm in the closet, I out myself to the school, yey we're back together and everything is fine.

Unrealistic and stupid.

Scenario 3. I'm gay and emo. That's all I need to say. There are too many of these. Where's the originality? The world in not over run by gay emos... Show some originality people!

Scenario 4. I’m not gay but I’m attracted to this guy or I kissed a guy but I’m not gay.

Do I need to even say anything? You can obviously tell where this is going before you even read it…

I think that's all for today... If you want me to add something please tell me and if you have any complaints on how I'm being mean and whatever please do tell me because I don't really care: FREEOM OF SPEECH BABY! <3

I've just realised this is all based on Romance.. You see how much Wattpad has turned me against Romance? SMH... SNM

I've had a bad day and this was the best way to let my anger out so.. NYEH!