Wattpad Blunders!

Round four

X-AN I'm running out of ideas!!

#1Uneccesarily long spaces between paragraphs

I don't know whether it's a fault with Wattpad's phone apps or just the author’s own doucheyness. Either way it's annoying. What I 'm talking about is when someone leaves like a page of a space between their chapters. It's really annoying especially when it's one of those intense parts.

eg.

The man uncovered his mask and under it laid

a huge monkey

Do you get what I mean? I don't want to have to scroll like a crazed woman just to read something. If it's a Wattpad glitch I apologise to those that I shouted abuse at. Wattpad Fix Yo Shit!

#2 stupidly long author’s notes

I know that we all love to tell people what's been going on in our lives but please that is what your message board is for. I don't want to know how your cat learned Japanese (Okay maybe that's cool- but that's beside the point). Author’s notes are there to explain things to people or to give a warning to readers at the beginning of a chapter. 

Don't get me started on putting Author’s notes in the middle of the chapter (I know I did that in ADAM but who asked you?). It distracts the reader and it's just stupid. I don't want to know that you also love chips like the character. It's irrelevant.

I don't particularly mind author’s notes at the bottom of the chapter but I hate them at the top (If you haven't noticed yet, I am a huge hypocrite). 

When are author’s notes Okay?

1. To warn people of explicit parts in a story (Though really this should be done right at the beginning of the story.

2. To say who you've dedicated the story to (this doesn't mean you should write ten paragraphs about how awesome said person is because they probably aren't even that cool).

3. And to thank your readers (though this should be done at the end of the story).

I hope this helped.

#3 taking your time

I get that people hate when a story is rushed but COME ON! There is such a thing as taking the piss. I don't need a ten chapter run up to the two main characters' meeting because that is seriously unnecessary. If it's obvious what's going to happen don't stretch it out just to keep the story entertaining because I have the attention span of a jellyfish and if you keep me waiting I will do a runner!

This also goes for the fast stories (again I am guilty of this). I hate reading stories that go way too fast. The characters shouldn't fall in love within three chapters (unless said chapters are months). It's stupid and it shows bad planning (GUILTY!)

#4 Who needs punctuation?

This is just like the spelling thing. Why would you do this? It makes it so hard to read when the punctuation is bad. What annoys me is the you're and your (I might be guilty of this but I highly doubt it) thing and the apostrophes for plurals. This is all basic primary school knowledge!

This also goes for paragraphing. Some people don't know the meaning of paragraphs. 

I don't want to see this:

(This is an extract from my story What's there to Lose? - a bit of shameless self-promotion)

A few minutes later I walked out of the ladies’ toilet but just as I was about to open the door to the restaurant, I was jerked backwards by my shoulders. Just as I was about to scream bloody murder, a pair of lips crashed themselves onto mine and lost all my senses. I didn’t need my eyes open to know who the lips belonged to. I’d felt them upon mine enough times to know exactly whose they are which is why without any sign of hesitation, melted into the kiss and retuned it just as hard as he was giving it. We broke away from the kiss and stared into each other’s eyes, both breathing heavily from the exhilarating kiss. “I’ve missed you,” Chris whispered before crashing his lips back on mine.

Why is this bad? Because it's hard to read and confusing and also it makes the reader read it faster which isn’t good because it gives the illusion that your story is going fast. (Maybe its fine to you- I don't know)

OR this:

(From the same story)

“That’s the point of fraternal twins, Jay,” I said before breaking the hug and leaning up to kiss him again. I broke the kiss as I felt a pair of eyes on me. I turned around towards the culprit which unsurprisingly was Chris. I smiled sheepishly at him before looking down at my toes. “Oh, hey, Chris,” I mumbled biting on my lips. I can’t believe I hadn’t said ‘hi’ to him. “Sup, Ellie,” he said, giving me an eyebrow nod which sent thousands of butterflies into my stomach. I looked down at my shoes again to hide the blush before coughing awkwardly. “Let’s go inside shall we?”

If you think this is fine then you are on crack. This is just awful to read because all the speech has been tumbled into one big mess of a 'paragraph'. If you listened in English rather than smoked pot in the back of the classroom you would know that you should start a new paragraph when a new person is talking otherwise it’s just confusing to the reader.

(By the way they are written in proper paragraphs in the actual story which you should read -wink wink-) 

#Ass kissers

You know what I'm talking about. Amyscence and xxWhoAteMyCookiexx have a LOT of these. These people mindless drones that are so easily manipulated by the top dogs of Wattpad.

 For example, a few months or so again, Gio (Amyscence) who I love, ordered his unicorn (that's the name for his followers) to unfan someone and you know what? The people actually did.

I don’t blame Gio because you know, he's Gio but his unicorns are just crazy. They're worse that Beliebers (I bet that 99% of them are Beliebers because this is the kind of crazy shit they do).

Speaking of crazy shit, you should leave anything negative about their Wattpad God/Goddess because they will haunt you down.

It's just sad to know how caught up people get over some people. Yeah, I know that Cookie and Gio are amazing but that doesn't mean you should kill all those with a different opinion.

I'm just saying. You people need to Fix Yo Shit!

-x- Wow that was fun but I don't think this one was very good because my mind is awful cloudy atm...

Anyway Comment, fan, Vote and SHARE!!