Mind Of A Slave

We All Must Go On

12.

The entirety of my possessions include a pebble, a head wrap, a few items of clothing and a pair of sandals that are too small for me.

I found the pebble on the side of a road. It looked pretty so I decided to keep it. Its just a stone but it's become special to me. It means something.

The sandals were made by Sadie back at Master Walter's home, when I was ten. They squeeze my toes and cause blisters. I don't wear them anymore.

Mama has more things than I do because she's been living for longer than me. She keeps them all under her bed. There are around seven objects all together. That's a lot. Most slaves have nothing at all.

The other objects in our cabin are there because they are essential. An iron kettle. A bucket. Several wooden bowls. Pots and pans. Spare head wraps.

Mama isn't at the cabin that evening. I make some stew and eat my dinner without her. She still hasn't returned when I fall asleep. But when I wake the next morning, she is already up and gathering food for breakfast.

"Where were you?" I ask.

"I got held up." She breaks a hunk of bread into pieces. She doesn't look at me.

"Oh," I say, "By what?"

"Nothing important," she says, "Did you have enough to eat last night?"

"Yes, Mama," I say.

Her hands move rhythmically, tearing the bread apart and putting the pieces into a bowl one by one.

She offers the bowl to me. I take a piece and watch her pass the bowl around so the other women can have some food. She sets it down on the table.

"Don't you want none?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "I'm not hungry."

I frown, studying her face, but I can't detect any signs of illness.

"Mama, you gotta eat," I say, "to build up your strength."

"Cass, I'm fine. I'm as healthy as ever. Go and have a drink from the well. It's hot today."

I smile at her with hope to lift her spirits. Her eyes glitter, framed by deep creases in her skin. She looks tired, but then, we are all tired.

I go outside and am hit by the stifling heat. Mama was right; it's scorching.

The water is warm even though the well is partially shaded by a tree. I gulp down as much water as I can, knowing that what I told Mama applies for me, too. I need to build up my strength. A strong woman is a healthy women and the stronger I am, the more easily I will be able to cope with the work.

Minutes later Noah arrives to order Mama and a few others up to the house.

Mama leans her mouth down to my ear as she passes me. "I think I'll be working in the kitchen all day." She whispers, "When everyone else has fallen asleep, meet me at the pond."

I stare at her blankly. "The pond?" What I mean to say is 'our pond? The one where I go with Amos?'

She has passed me now and is walking quickly at the edge of the group. She turns around and nods. Her eyes twinkle. Maybe she smiles.

I look away, confused. I only know of one pond at Master Ramier's planation. But it can't be the one she meant. How would she know about it? How does she know that I know about it?

I have so many questions that are yearning for answers but all I can do is watch her leave, and wait.

I go into the cabin and sit down on my bed until Noah turns up to order me out to the fields.