Mind Of A Slave

Peaches

23.

SOLD. AMOS STARES blankly at Julia and I know that he's thinking what I'm thinking. Everything is happening so quickly and he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say.

He is so still that despite the scorching heat he seems frozen.

Hannah glances at me uncertainly. She's searching me for answers, but I don't have any to give her.

Escaping would mean putting our lives at risk. Staying would mean possible separation from each other.

"We gotta get to work," Amos says eventually. He takes my hand. "C'mon Hannah."

"Bye," Julia whispers.

"You's gone be okay?" I ask her. She looks down at the ground. She doesn't nod. She doesn't shake her head.

I want to remain to comfort her but I know that Amos is right. We can't avoid work for the rest of the day.

We head for the peach trees where Amos says most of the slaves are working. His arm is slung over my shoulder and our feet move in sync. Hannah walks a few steps behind us.

When the trees come into sight we stop and watch the slaves from a distance. They move around, swinging baskets, throwing peaches, talking, even laughing. In general, they are happy. As happy as its possible for a slave to be. Some are whistling as they collect peaches and carry them to the wagon. I scan the people, looking for Noah.

"There." I locate him talking to two boys at the end of the line of trees.

"Ok," Amos takes a deep breath, "Let's go."

We run towards the tree nearest to us. The people stop to stare at us. Amos urges them to keep working.

"Wait," he says, "We ain't got baskets." He begins to search frantically, but he can't find any.

He glances at me desperately. We need to find something to do, but how can we pick peaches without baskets to put them in.

We look out of place, awkward.

"Climb that tree," he says to me, pointing.

"What?"

"Jus' climb it, Cass," he orders.

I don't move. Hannah pulls me over to the trunk. "Hurry," she mumbles, "Noah's comin' real close."

I heave myself up to the fork of the tree. Amos runs over to help. I'm about to say that I don't need help but I see Noah not far away and I realise what they're doing.

"Pretend you's stuck," Amos whispers as Noah walks up to us, glaring.

"Boy, where's your basket?" Noah demands.

Amos bites his lip. I grasp Hannah's hand, pretending that I need her support.

"We's... um... helpin' her climb, see? She were stuck. We's gone get baskets now."

Noah must be twice his height but he seems even taller as he steps closer to Amos. Noah grips Amos's arm and I watch him grimace in pain.

"And why didn't you get them earlier, when you came down here?"

Amos shoots me a look.

"Er... I..." Amos grits his teeth as Noah's grip on his arm tightens. "I were climbin' trees, to pick the fruit. All a us was. We was throwin' peaches down to the others, who had baskets. So we ain't needed baskets ourselves 'till now."

He glances nervously at Noah. We all wait for his response.

Noah stands motionless for a long time. Then he reaches for Amos's hair and holds it in his fist as his other hand slaps him across the face.

"Useless," Noah mutters as he walks away.

I climb down from the tree quickly and run over to Amos.

"You ok?" He stands with his face turned to the side, his eyes closed. He doesn't open them when I speak.

"Amos? Open your eyes. Look at me."

His eyelids lift slowly. Suddenly he pulls me into his arms. We hug until he pushes me away gently and holds my elbows, staring into my eyes.

I hear Hannah scurry away, probably to fetch baskets, and then I hear silence.

"We gotta leave," Amos says quietly.

My mouth opens in disbelief.

"Your family," is all I can say.

"My family is gone be fine. They can take care a each other. I gotta do what I want. An' I wanna escape, with you."

He leans forward and kisses me softly.

"Stop."

Amos frowns.

"I ain't gone leave," I say, "I got Hannah an' Beckey, who I loves. I can't jus' leave 'em."

Amos's frown turns to shock. "I got people I loves too, Cass! I wanna stay wid them but we gotta do what's gone be best for us. An' so we hafta leave."

Tears bubble agitatedly behind my eyes, yearning to break free.

I try as hard as I can to not yell at him. "Don't you understand? Escapin' ain't somethin' easy every'un can do, Amos. We could get hurt. We could be killed!"

"So you ain't comin' wid me?"

I try to be brave, but Amos's disappointment punctures my strength like a stone sinking through water.

"Don't go," I say.

Hannah arrives with three baskets. Amos snatches one from her arms and throws it to the ground.

"Amos..." I start to say as Hannah inches backwards, afraid.

-"No, Cass, don't talk. I understands what you want but I jus' can't do this anymore. I ain't gonna live this life."

He picks up his basket and walks over to the nearest tree, starting to pluck fruit from the lowest branches. Hannah joins him. I just stand where I am, lost.