Right As Rain (Complete)

Chapter 13

Hudson

"Okay, spill it," Mum says. We made it through dinner, across the street, and into the hospital parking lot before she decided to start in. The suspense must be killer her. "I thought you would eventually get on with it, but we running out of time." She nods to the hospital entrance. "If you want to talk to me, you need to do it now."

"I'm fine," I lie.

"Hudson!" she yells. She has 'that' tone; the tone only mum's have. She stops walking and turns to face me. "Look at me!" The hair stands up on the back of my neck. I know I can't avoid her, but the second I start talking, every thought and feeling I've had in the last twenty-four hours will flow from my mouth like the waters of Niagara Falls.

Everyone says they have the best mum, but it's impossible, because I do. She raised my sister and me completely on her own. She worked multiple jobs and cleaned houses to make sure we wore the newest fashions at the best private schools. She only wanted the best for us.

By the time I was thirteen she had married three times. Constantly looking for love, she slowly stopped believing in it; though even now she would never admit she allowed her tribulations to drive her that far. "Life is what you make it, Hudson," she always said.

When she met my stepfather, Brian, she saw what love was really like. He looked after her, respected her, and cared for her. He treated her the way she deserved to be treated. Still, after so much hurt and betrayal, it took her almost seven years to agree to marry him. Now, thirteen years after their first official date, they have been married for six and still act like newlyweds. I'm happy just to see her happy.

When Big Distraction had their first hit, she sat me down and warned me of the price I would eventually have to pay for fame. "Genuine relationships are hard when you are in the spotlight," she said, among a few other things. At the time, I didn't believe her. Now I do. Figuring out the authenticity of those around you is the worst. That day, ten years ago now, she told me when I found someone who was different, I would just know. She promised.

She was right.

I don't know Maelee, not yet anyway. But I would like to. My fear is I have been such a shit I don't deserve it. I turn to look at my mother. Hesitantly, I tell her my worry. "The last thing she deserves is to be associated with someone like me."

Her whole body melts into sympathy. I didn't even have to say Maelee's name for her to understand. "Oh, darling," she says, reaching for my face. "Don't think like that."

"It's hard not to."

Pretending I don't care what people think of me has always been a façade. If anyone knows that, it's my mum. The fucks, blowjobs, and random hookups that landed me my well-deserved reputation were fun, but fun only lasts so long. The remaining twenty to twenty-three hours of the day are, more often than not, misery.

It didn't take long to learn I could do whatever I wanted, with whomever I wanted, just by smiling. By the time I figured out that wasn't how I wanted to live my life, it was too late. A reputation quickly made is slowly destroyed. It doesn't matter if I stay at home and watch TV Land re-runs or go on a super yacht with fifteen naked models. The headline will be the same; I fucked around.

God help me if Maelee has been reading that shit. No wonder she won't go out with me.

After a period of silence, my mum's sympathetic frown turns into a small, but proud, smile.

"Mum, I don't want to be this person anymore," I tell her.

"And what person would that be?" she asks.