Twenty-Eight

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Mom let me skip school the next few days. I told myself it was sympathy, but I think she was just embarrassed. When I did finally go, it was a Thursday. Everybody had slowed into a weekend type of crawl. Nobody said a word to me. Foster wasn't in any of my classes. Noel & Lilian were there, chatting, I don't think either one of them noticed me. I sat through lunch alone, I was paranoid about what he said, what he wrote. I kept it in my pocket the whole day, and reread it until I knew every word, because maybe that would be the last I heard of him... I needed one memory to keep forever. 

When I got home, I hung it up in my room. Next to my bed on the wall. I had nightmares, but he was never the monster. I woke up in a panic once and saw the note right beside me, it just calmed me down. 

The next day, last day of the week, he was late. But he still came. His eyes darted right to me. I became the clouds and I wanted him to evaporate into me. He walked for what felt like a thousand years, and this time he sat beside me. I felt my heart in my cheeks. I felt my heart in my hands. I looked forward, but I didn't want him to think that I followed his advice, that I was looking into my future... The only future I could imagine or conjure up was with him. 

So I looked in his direction, but he was already looking at me. I couldn't breathe. 

"I don't want you to forget about me," he said, "I lied." 

I cupped my hand around his chin and rubbed my thumb over his cheek, ice cold but warm below the surface, just like I expected it to be.

"I know."

He closed his eyes and exhaled, "Don't let go." 

"I won't." 

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