Darling & Foster

Thirty-Two

"Will you still love me, even when you know what I am?"

I almost rolled my eyes, "I could never not love you. Even if I hated you." 

We pulled up into this wooded area, tall trees that formed a slight canopy above us. I was so confused, and scared. I wouldn't lie to myself and pretend like I wasn't thinking awful things about him. I dreamt that he really was the monster that everybody said, and I hated myself for thinking that. 

He came over to my side of the car to open the door, I was shaking. I worked on taking my first shaky step out of the car, I tried to focus myself, gaining my balance, steading myself.. but before I could, his arms were around me. All I felt was heat and euphoria. His arms clasped so tightly around me. He was carrying me, walking with me in his arms. I felt so close to him, so connected. I burrowed my face into his shirt. He had a firm grip on my thighs, on my whole body, I was a part of him and he was a part of me. Branches cracked under our feet, but I didn't look. 

I couldn't look at what was before us. After what felt like years of walking, he gingerly sat me on the ground, the weight of my body audibly crushing the leaves beneath me. I cringed and hoped he wouldn't notice. 

He just smiled, gave me a dopey look, like a little innocent puppy. He really couldn't do any harm in my eyes. I was so in love with him that it was sick. 

"Wait here, alright?" 

I heard birds calling in the distance as he walked away. I watched them float, I watched them soar, I wanted to be like them. And then I saw him turn around, he was sprinting towards me. I thought something had gone wrong, my heart sank. 

"I forgot," He pulled off his jacket and placed it around me. I could've died of relief. "I want you to be warm." 

All I could do was laugh, "Do you know how much I love you?" I didn't say that because of what he did, I said it because he needed to know. He didn't need to feel guilty or alone or rejected, especially by me. 

He walked closer to me until we were an inch apart, his warm breath was on my ear. My blood pressure must have been soaring like the birds in the sky, without limits. "You really make me swoon, you know that?" I could feel him smirking. No matter how scared or nervous I was, this had to have been the happiest day of my life. 

I blushed until all the blood in my body was filling my cheeks. 

"Does it ever end?" He asked.

"Does what end?" 

"The fucking cuteness and fucking charm you exude from minute to minute. I can't even keep up with it." He winked as he was walking away, out of my reach. 

Once he was gone, I fell on my back, sprawled out in the grass, the world's biggest smile on my face. I looked up into the trees, my head was full of all kinds of chemicals making my toes curl. I closed my eyes and replayed our first kiss, replayed our kiss in the parking lot, replayed every moment I'd ever spent with him. Convincing myself, over and over, that whatever dark murderous sinister secret he had been hiding... could always be forgiven.