The difference between forgiving and forgetting

Forever a Liar

The next three weeks were practically torture. What with my mother constantly trying to shove pills down my throat, Ryder trying to ask me out every two seconds and Freddy thinking everything was fine, it was enough to drive anyone insane. That and the fact that my best friend will not speak to me anymore because she thinks that I’m acting like this for attention.

“What are you going to do about Lexi?” Cami asked that Friday evening. I groaned. “Honestly? I could care less right now. I have a mother who thinks I’m really sick, a baby daddy who wants to be my boyfriend and a boyfriend who wants nothing more than my attention. It’s so hard to manage.” I sighed, flipping through the channels.

“Well, you know stress isn’t good for the baby.” She said matter-o-factly, cramming half a bag of skittles down her throat. “And skittles aren’t good for your figure.” I mocked. “Ha-ha.” She sneered, shoving the rest into her mouth and chomping loudly.

“What are you and Freddy doing tomorrow?” I shrugged as I took notes on the chapter in my Psychology text book. “I think he’s taking me to see a movie.”

“That’s cute. What you guys gonna see?” I yawned, throwing the text book aside and rubbed my make-up free face. “Something like ‘I need your number’, I doubt I’ll be able to pay attention what with the fact that I throw up every four seconds.” Cami rolled her eyes and rubbed my tummy. “You hear that future baby? Your mommy already blames you.” I laughed, slapping her hand away.

My baby would be raised by two teens just out of high school. My child would probably spend more time with it’s grandma than with me, because I’ll be trying to make a career for myself. Ryder and I’s child will have such a tough life. “Why didn’t I use a fudging condom?!” I groaned loudly, my anger seeping through her bed spread. “You were drunk calm down.”

“Calm down? Camilla, there is a child growing in my stomach, I want to kiss you right now, I’m thinking about eating a fricken cow and I’m tired beyond belief. How the f-”

“Shh! The baby can hear you fool!” She hissed, covering my mouth. “Whatever. I’m in no shape to be dating. Yet I’m with the school’s runner up for ‘it’ boy.”

“Thanks for clarifying. But I go to that school.”

“I’m sorry, this whole pregnant stuff is making me moody.” I managed a weak smile, before sinking back into the guilt that resided within me. My mother doesn’t know that her daughter is a whore and is also a teenage mother. What would she even say?

“Just get some sleep you hormonal fool, and don’t kiss me whatever you do.” She winked, turning off the TV and lights. I yawned again, my head barely hitting the pillow before I was having a dream of bright lights and the cries of a baby…

~

“GET UP SUNSHINE!” Camilla’s loud voice rang, and I woke up with a jerk. I b-lined to the bathroom and threw up the contents of last nights dinner into her toilet. “Good thing I cleaned that the other day huh?” She managed, holding my hair back and flushing the toilet as I crumbled to the ground meekly.

“Don’t do that on your date today. Fred texted, says he’ll be here in a couple hours. Shower?” I nodded, closing the door when she slipped through it into her bedroom.

I stripped down and hopped into Cami’s large shower. I washed my hair thoroughly, and brushed my teeth about four times. When I was squeaky clean I grabbed a towel and dried, figuring I wouldn’t do my hair because Cam would want to. Noticing my sleep over bag had made it’s way into the bathroom I silently thanked God I had Cami before changing into my tank top and pants, throwing my cardigan over the top. I had been varying in temperature lately, so it was never too safe.