Allison had been laying on her bed for the last hour, staring at her ceiling, drowning in her thoughts. She had dropped Lydia off at her house, they had bought the clothes they liked and hadn't really been talking anymore on their way home. Lydia had smiled, had wished her a goodnight and then stepped out of the car, leaving Allison alone again. She was confused, confused about what had happened when they were in the fitting room together. It was like time was standing still as Allison and Lydia had been staring at each other. It was like Lydia had been feeling something for Allison too. It was like for once it was just the two of them, right there, right at that moment.
It confused Allison, because Lydia had been talking about trying to blow guys away with their new outfits at the party tomorrow. She had always talked about Jackson and about trying to get guys. How she was done with teenage boys. Did she mean that she also liked girls? Allison let out a groan of frustration and turned to her side to look at the picture of Lydia and her that was on her bedstand. Why was being in love so frustrating and confusing? It all seemed so easy when she was with Scott. They loved each other and that had been clear from the very start.
A knock on the door startled her and she sat back up. Her dad poked his head around the door and flashed her a smile.
'Hey there,' he said and then came into the room. 'I just wanted to check up on you as you rushed to your room as soon as you got home. Are you okay?'
Allison sat back with her back to her headstand and shrugged. She didn't know if she was okay, not at all. Her thoughts were a mess. Her feelings were a mess. Right now, her whole life was a mess and she had no idea how to handle things and how to fix things.
'You look like you could use some hot chocolate with little marshmallows,' he said and dissapeared out of the room again.
Allison couldn't surpress a little smile as she grabbed a blanket and put it over her legs. Her dad had always made her hot chocolate with little marshmallows when she was little. Her mother didn't really like that kind of stuff, she didn't believe that could make you feel better. But her dad did and it was something special that was between them and it still was.
She saw her dad entering her room again with two big mugs full of hot chocolate and little marshmallows. Allison took one of them with both of her hands, warming them up. The smell of chocolate made her smile a little as her dad took place on the bed next to her. They quietly waited for the chocolate to cool off enough before drinking it. She knew her dad wanted her to be the one to talk, if she was ready for it. He always did that, she loved him for it.
'I don't know what to do anymore, dad. Everything is a mess,' she whispered and she felt her dad shifting on the bed so he could look at her. 'Since mom's death and since I have broken up with Scott, everything that I knew, everything that was normal, dissapeared. I don't know what to expect, I don't know what to do, I don't know what I want. It's like I don't know myself anymore.'
Her dad was quiet for a while, she knew he was taken it all in, deciding what to say. 'I do know one thing,' he spoke. 'I know that you're Allison Argent. You're my daughter and you're one of the strongest, smartest and most beautiful girls that I have ever seen.'
Allison put down her mug, next to the picture, on the nightstand. She then faced her dad and listened while he spoke to her.
'I know that whenever you fall down, you get back up. You get back up stronger than ever. You learn from your mistakes and you learn how to deal with situations that look like they can't be fixed. You do this all by yourself, you don't need anyone to tell you what to do. You just know and otherwise you figure it out. I have never met such a determined, smart, beautiful and amazing girl like you. You're Allison Argent and you can do anything if you just set your mind to it. There's always hope, that's what you said and that's what I taught you. You, Allison Argent, you never give up.'
A smile formed on Allison's face and she felt her eyes tear up. She tried to swallow away those tears, but it didn't work. Her dad was right, she knew he was right and she just wished she could set her mind to it right now.
'Just put your mind to it. If you want it enough, you can fight for it. You are going to fight for it, okay?' her dad asked and put his hands on her cheeks. 'I believe in you, baby.'
The tears were rolling down her face and he gently kissed her forehead and pulled her in his arms.
'I love you so much, dad. I'd have no idea what I would do without you,' she whispered and closed her eyes as she put her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head and rested his head on hers.
'Crash and burn?' he answered and they both laughed.
