Crush

Crush V

Crush V:

I never expected that liking someone could either cause someone so much pain or alter their lives...forever.

I never expected that I would like someone. Not you, no. There are those times where I ask myself, is this all really happening?

It was, there was no doubt about it but I never knew it would fucking hurt this much.

I haven’t seen you in months, but that doesn’t mean I’ve just stopped thinking about how you’ve had such an impact on my life. That impact may be small but I remember it, even if you don’t. Although in those months I may not have spoken to you, I still considered you as a friend even now. But there was something I knew I didn’t like about you and that was that you were a liar and I hate lies, passionately.

And you lied, a lot. I guess that’s why I never could believe you at first, when you told me that you liked me. There’s something about liars that just put me right off, I just hate them. And hate is a very strong word.

Because of you, my emotions have been all over the place, ever since those cold days in November and since then I have not been "myself.” If anything I have changed as a person, we all change over time I suppose, but my change was quick and dramatic and something I still getting used to. I have you to thank for that one. Although things may not be as whatever I may have once anticipated in my wildest, bizarre dreams, things are...okay I guess. They had to be.

School is fast approaching and you’re still going to be a part of my life whether I like it or not. You’re still going to be in that one class as me, I’m still going to have to see you for the next two years of my life and to be frank I don’t know what is going to happen or whether we would ever talk as we used to but there’s one thing for sure, I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared, it’s scary and rather pathetic really but I’m scared.

There’s absolutely no doubt about it.

Over the months I haven’t seen you, I’ve told myself to move on from you but to not to forget you because you indeed have changed me and I thank you for that, I do, even if I sometimes I hate you, there will forever be a part of me that will like you but for myself I have to go on.

It’s a part of life; having new experiences, having a crush, falling in love and I’m sure that this is merely the beginning for me about my experiences and I’m not fucking looking forward to what the future holds but I have to squeeze it and hold it out, because I’m only ever going to live once and life is too fucking short to dwell over things that simply aren’t meant to be.

__

I think there is one more part left to Crush, I’m not too sure but that part being is more like an addressed letter.

Song: “Let Her Go” - Passenger

Dedicated: notfound for the really cute cover, thanks!